Say It Aint So Ryan

Early semi-retirement at the age of 34? Say it aint so Ryan, say it aint so...

"me- 34-a non smoker and happy, for the first time in my life.. i am excited to finish this wonderful time i have had with the cardinals and whatever new adventures may come after march. atlanta will be my last venture with the band and i am grateful for the time we have had and maybe someday we will have more stories to tell together. i am however ready for quieter times as i think it is very evident i am struggling with some balance and hearing issues.

also, no drama or anything but i am okay to step back from all of this right now and i think i did enough manic blogging when i felt alone and isolated during the last few years of travel. these last few years were the hardest i can remember and the most rewarding but i have loved ones to care for now and i am lucky i have been given a chance to turn around and see just what i am capable of as a friend and as someone who is not gone forever every year- it rendered me incapable of things i needed to be to myself and others- and my schedule sometimes never ended when the shows did- and some of that was my doing. and i lost someone i loved, and i lost myself.

that changed. i got to know just who i am in this little spell of time here recently. and change is the nature of the world and i naturally embrace that.

i won’t be blogging here anymore either- but not for effect- it just is not being kind to myself- i need a life that is mine- i need to grow up and grow in to who i have subtly been working back towards since i stopped all that nonsense and i know also no matter what i choose to do in the music world, because i chose to do things my way and never lie i will always be viewed as an “asshole” ( i hear and have seen things in the past) and i am not, and i know the truth and i know who i am.

also it is kind of ridiculous to blog as i am a musician and anything i say here just gets reprinted at some point out of context. i say NOT FAIR but it doesn’t matter what i say anymore or what is fair anymore really does it- the 21st century media has it’s own rules about what is true and what is not. it is not a life- not one i want to live anyway and i don’t really care to participate in narcissistic over-indulgent behavior anymore- that was never my intention- i just wanted to fight for my right to make music and to be given the benefit of the doubt. now, because i have stood up for myself and fought for myself i am labeled all kinds of awful things. well, i will walk away now and it will not matter what anyone say’s. there are other things i can do in this life, other ways to be creative and to try and help others and be expressive without being demonized for attempting to gain the same things any other human being desires- love- friendship- understanding- and being able to express yourself without constant fear of being mistreated for speaking up

i have friends to make, brand new books coming (two of em’ not counting that one already printed and on it’s way out there and i LOVE writing….yay!) and a whole lot of living and learning to do.

i am excited to step away. i lost more than anyone will ever know (hearing, someone i loved, my sense of dignity, a never ending losing battle with stage fright and now my hearing and balance due to an inner ear issue- people accusing me of not being sober when i am suffering tremendous pain and nausea from my inner ear symptoms- people accusing me of theft (THEFT- ….awful) and this is not much of a life, not glamorous like those ridiculous video’s a long time ago television played and no it is not monetarily as rewarding as people would like you to believe and yes, it is soul destroying. especially when you spend your life trying to write about the really difficult stuff and you stand there losing your way and people yell at you like you were in a circus. when it was your dream to matter and you realize one day, it never mattered- i mean, i am a punch-line and a footnote in what is worse to yell at someone besides “free-bird”. i mean, i lost. and it’s okay because i seriously snuck some pretty neat idea’s in there in the work when i was making those mistakes or they were being made by others. this business is no science.

andf you know, whatever this is- it’s not my dream. and it is a punishing thing to endure when you are getting worse and worse- it’s not my dream, my dream was to try and tap into that energy i saw watching Minutemen vcr tapes when i was just a little shit in NC of mike watt’s crazy shaking leg and his electric fingers- or how sonic youth droned into beautiful clouds those guitars shaking, kim and steve rattling the pulsing lines into feverish thudding imaginary subway cars racing through my heart- and how it felt to just let go and static up a riff and find the sweet spot- but getting yelled at for just being a songwriter- to be called so many horrid things because i chose to love music so much, and also to look for peace and balance in my life- that is not kindness and just not my thing. at least not now.

and i loved somebody. and i let others decided if that was okay and that was wrong and i was wrong and no one should deny themselves or others love or understanding because people don’t get it. that was an awful mistake. i always make big mistakes. it’s like i let myself learn that because that was a role, a niche’ i filled that make sense to a loud voice of strangers who would never really play a real part in my life.

never become that if you choose this path- if you go this route with your art. never listen to those loud dissatisfied bystanders who only want to see you fail because that will be entertaining for that moment. hold fast to your dreams, hold faster to your heart and never step out of the light of that love that made you whole. i did. and i know better now. and better late than never i suppose.

but i am okay now. i see a peaceful way to better days now. i am healing. and most importantly i feel loved and i have learned to treat myself with that same curiosity and lover that i have been lucky enough to feel and to learn to let guide my life. love is the great teacher and i am happy to be learning now. happy to be listening to that over this never ending painful ringing. this is the great lesson of my life. for once i want to be dignified in my study and in one place long enough to hear and understand without my pride or my lack of faith in myself leading me further away from things i need to know once and for all.

this is the real work now. the rest is something else entirely.

quitting smoking was a good step and i am happy i also am just now beginning to understand how important it is i take better care of myself in every way right now. hell i am even beginning to sleep a little and i can feel the things good and bad that i did not have time to feel when i was running towards a new oblivion of work, hoping somehow someday what i did would be accepted and maybe that would make me feel loved. how foolish.

that is not love. love is being accepted for who you are. love is taking care of yourself and caring for others and dreaming out loud when it matters. not chasing rainbows. not hoping for some eventual collective sigh of approval which will never come. how did i ever think in those terms? i always knew better. thank goodness i know now how to be honest with myself.

anyway, enjoy these shows ( i will enjoy them immensely and i will miss them just as much) and know that i am not abandoning anyone, not the cardinals and not the fans, this is just something i need to do now, and that i loved playing music in the cardinals and hell, even before i was in a place to try and learn to be well, music was my life source- and cardinals was such a heavy crush and a real dream…i honor it too much to have any regrets right now, i am just proud.

maybe we will play again sometime and maybe i will work my way back into some kind of music situation but this is the time for me to step back now, to reel it in and i wish everyone peace and happiness and if music is your dream, or if just dreaming is your dream, may you find your way through the rough patch with ease and i hope you let go and it takes you all the way there-

loving kindness to all.

R"

Garth and Bruce Together At Last!

Just when you thought the inauguration couldn't get any bigger Mr Obama surprises us once again. Sunday afternoon the inauguration week is being kicked off at the Lincoln Memorial with a free concert that has a fantastic lineup that is being headlined by Bruce Srpingsteen and Garth Brooks! Also performing will be Stevie Wonder, Herbie Hancock, "The Coug" John Cougar Mellencamp, Usher, John Legend, James Taylor, Sheryl Crow, Shakira, Will.i.am, and Bono (because everyone knows you can't officialy save the world unless Bono's involved). Also there reading historical passages will be Jamie Fox, MLK III, Queen Latifah, and Denzel Washington. Hell there's even a gay reverend giving the invocation. HBO will be broadcasting the concert from 7-9 this Sunday night (right before the season premiere of Big Love), and it will be available to not only HBO subscribers but also anyone with basic cable or satellite.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/12/obama-inauguration-lincol_n_157215.html

Weekly Address: Turning Around Unemployment

"Our resources may be finite, but our will is infinite. And I am confident that if we come together and summon that great American spirit once again, we will meet the challenges of our time and write the next great chapter in our American story."

Little Boots

So according to a recent article from the BBC this is their pick for break out star of 2009, Little Boots (she takes her name from Caligula's nickname). Now I'm not too sure how sold I am on her seeing as she has every bit of two singles under her belt, but I am in love with this Tenori-on that she uses. It consists of a screen, held in the hands, of a sixteen by sixteen grid of LED switches, any of which can be activated in a number of ways to create an evolving musical soundscape. The LED switches are held within a magnesium frame, which has two built-in speakers located on the top of frame, as well as a dial and buttons that control the type of sound and beats per minute produced.

The maker of this, Japanese artist Toshio Iwai, has said "In days gone by, a musical instrument had to have a beauty, of shape as well as of sound, and had to fit the player almost organically. Modern electronic instruments don't have this inevitable relationship between the shape, the sound, and the player. What I have done is to try to bring back these elements and build them in to a true musical instrument for the digital age."

This video of Little Boots covering Hot Chip's "Ready For The Floor" is quite entertaining. Seeing this pretty blonde gal with a pleasant falsetto programming and altering on the fly while the LED's light up as the music scrolls across makes for wonderful eye candy.

Rainy Day Man # 010908

Stepping into the bowels of 5 o'clock commuter traffic from a place where wind is tightening the lines on under your eyes and blushing your checks. Christ it's muted down here. And milky? If I could look to the left at just the right time, I can see an impending movement about to take place in my life. A movement that carries me. Don't react too quickly, look up too hastily or stare. Maybe there's a pole I can hug, a hang-nail I can bother. I'd read a book if I could concentrate longer than three seconds, but I'm a goldfish. I'm taken from carnival, to pet shop, to home. I said, "Conductor, ain't there nothin' I can take," but remember, I took everything before I left. That is the point of this obsessive story line. If you can settle beyond heart-attack, you've made it. If you look at the same person four times and feel creepy about it, then you're using them. Soon enough I'll be following someone's khaki pants up a stairwell. I'll flex the sphincter of this big city. That is to say that the city outside is a toilet bowl and I'm piece of shit. Not fair I guess.

Creepy shit

I realize this isn't a celebrity gossip blog, but I didn't want to be the only one creeped out by this zombie monster octogenarian dressed as a tween.

You Black Son of a Bitch

According to Time, William Zantzinger was sentenced in Hagerstown at the Circuit Court house, a half block down from my office. The incident he was charged for occured in Baltimore, but Zantzinger won a change in venue possibly due to unfavorable media coverage. William Zantzinger died this week after over forty years of being scorned in the song, "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll."

The Fox News Fix For The Economy

So in case you all haven't been getting your proper daily dosage of Fox news I'm here to fill you all in on their "fix" for our economy. This is thorough research I've conducted from countless hours of watching experts such as Hannity, Cavuto, O'Reilly, and various Republican congressman on the Fox Network. It's a set of core conservative principles of how to fix the mess that Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank and the "liberals in Washington" have put us in. So I present to you all the 5 steps of how to get America back to the greatness it was in the 80's when America was a "shining city upon a hill".

1. Case you've forgotten already, Barack Obama is a socialist. Therefore to quote Mr. Hannity "Capitalism as we know it is dead". That means we're already behind the 8ball, and probably fucked to start with. *By the way, Who is Barack Obama? And isn't it curious that he still hasn't answered that question? At least my Memaw is coming around on him. At first she hated him and wanted him dead, but just today she told me "I feel sorry for The Nigger, he's gotta lota shit on his plate*

2. Spending money on infrastructure such as rebuilding bridges and roads and crumbling schools is a waste of money. Proff of this is the fact that FDR's New Deal had nothing to do with getting us out of the Great Depression. What really got us out was war. *Hmm,,,Iran looks pretty appealing, maybe we can stoke up a war with them to end the recession*

3. Gas is cheap again so therefore we can't afford to invest in alternative energy. But just to make sure gas doesn't go back up we need to "drill here and drill now". *by the way, if you don't believe in drilling here and drilling now then go check out this nifty Arron Tippin tune called, wait for it, Drill Here Drill Now, it's mighty persuasive*

4. TAX CUTS!!! Unless of course you're lower middle class to poor, because in that case it's not a tax cut, it's just welfare and wealth redistribution. *At this point refer back to point #1*

5. WWRD, What Would Reagan Do. Know matter what the problem just think to yourself, "hmm, what would Reagan do" and then do that. *By the way, it's a little know fact but every time you mention his name an angel gets its wings*

There you go, your 5 bullet points on how to fix the economy. Don't invest in America unless it's in an oil derek, cut taxes for corporations and the rich, remember that Obama is a socialist, and most importantly mention Ronald Reagan as much as you can.

BREAKING NEWS:

Asheville, NC - Member of Roney Family publicly decries his name in vain, Don between rock and hard place.

“I like about it what I don’t like about Bob Dylan sometimes,” says Kim Roney, who’ll play keyboards to back Rodriguez. “He seems to be saying exactly what he wants to say instead of playing mind games.”

Full story here.

The Nicholas Brothers

Dalton showed me this clip from the film Stormy Weather, which is a 1940's Hollywood musical based on the life of the dancer Bill "Bojangles" Robinson. Black musicals and the famous prohibition era Cotton Club in NYC gave African-Americans a rare opportunity to showcase their talents. In the Cotton Club, they were expected to create a jungle atmosphere to enertain the all white audience. The club featured many great African-Americans including Al Jolson, Duke Ellington, Billie Holliday, and Louis Armstrong. This clip features a gnarly dance routine from the Nicholas brothers all in one take.

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

Good Morning,

I just wanted to extend a "thanks" to everyone that's participated in this blog in any way. Personally, it's been a lot of fun. I will update this post later today with some highlights and some poking-fun at each of you. Until then, have a successful day.

Yours,

MH

Stooges' Ron Asheton dead at 60

Sad. Asheton was found dead in his Ann Arbor, Mi. home of a reported heart attack on January 6th, 2009, having died several days earlier, probably either on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.

The Armpit Collection XIV: 21st C. Singer/Songwriter Dilemna

Wicked Grin
Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
29
Lady's Bridge

Production is a funny thing these days. We've reached great peaks in terms of what's possible from musician to listener. Then again, it's still very possible to sit down and play sounds into a tin can. However, this latter scenario is slipping from our grasp and at this point, many people's minds have moved on.

The above albums are completely random, given the rise of many so called modern folkies, the aging of so many great popular artists, and the "MTV Unplugged effect." Singer songwriter music has become more than just a hobby, vocation, lifestyle, or genre, it's become a bastard to some and a relaxation to others. It's hard to produce a record as a singer and songwriter that doesn't find it's way into some contrived or cliche can. There's just SO many that are made. Hell, we've all personally known an handful of people who've made them.

Ryan Adams probably defines this the best. He started in one place, graduated to another, and now continues to make sense of it all. I had deep reservations about his early output. It's so easy for these types of albums to come across as soft or weak. Then I heard Jacksonville City Nights, "hey, this guy's doing something here, it's like real country music again, the kind you'd expect on the radio." This album came out during the putter of two other records, Cold Roses and 29. 29 is a conceptual album that you can read about in other places. The important thing is it's truly a listen - each time you hear it you struggle to make sense of it. Each song has a deeply familiar story that comes from a mythical place that's cloudy, dark, and hard to remember. His best work yet, removed from himself, finally. As we can see, he's even struggled to maintain this route.

John Hammond apparently introduced Bob Dylan to the Hawks, the rest is our history! Hammond continues to be one of the only remaining genuine links between the mythical blues and the modern blues. He is the real deal, best live performance I've EVER seen, easily. In the early 2000's, he teamed with Tom Waits to record an album of Waits tunes, blew my brains out - the sheer power in the rhythms, deep tonality of his voice and his ability to invoke the blues drenched in Waits' songs. I wonder if Scarjo ever listened to it...no homework assignment for you today Scarjo, you fail.

When I was inquiring with my lovely woman about "indie rock" a few years back, I challenged her to make a mix of "indie rock" for me, so I might understand how this phrase applies as a genre of music. I remember one tune, "Star Witness." Before she had a chance to advise as to which album to purchase, I'd already hit Willow Lawn in the dead heat of a Richmond summer and sat sweating to Fox Confessor Brings the Flood during my lunch break. You know how the Boss has these "invitations" and "cinematic" qualities to his songs on Born to Run? These are a result of song structure, long melodic introductions and interludes, non traditional verse - chorus chord progressions. Fox has a similar quality to it, only the songs are surreal or distorted takes on Americana. The lyrics sometimes sweet, sometimes haunting. The melodies sweeping, the instrumentation dense, but spacious.

Where would singing and songwriting in popular music be without the Brits. They've made so many great records and adored American musical culture on The Level. Richard Hawley is completely British and makes music that runs deeply into the American musical canon. Lady's Bridge kind of combines this European classicism and American primitism, but not the kind found in 40's, 50's, 60's jazz. This kind is rooted in classical pop and Americana. Think Morrissey meets Orbison. The record is a mature musical offering that showcases Hawley's deeply rich croon, intellectual instrumentative production, and lyrical simplicity. Tonight, the streets are Ours!

This list is subject to addition, as my memory lends itself. I do beg of you to please Comment with your insight for additions to this particular facet of The Pit.

The change has come (She's under my thumb)

The new senator from Minnesota does a pretty awesome Mick Jagger impression.

Weekly Address: American Recovery and Reinvestment

13-0 and No Title?

If this year isn't enough then what more proof do you need. For God's sake someone please blow up the BCS. It is the only system in sports, professional or collegiate, that doesn't produce a true national champion. A dominant one loss USC is left out of the title picture, Texas beats one of the teams that are in the so called "national title" game but gets left out, and Utah goes undefeated and yet doesn't even get a sniff of the national title. The system is beyond broken, it is fataly flawed. We need a playoff. If congress can step in and put steroid testing into Major League Baseball then goddamnit they can take the President of The United States's lead and put a playoff into college football.

New Years No Limits

"Robbie Madison you are the fucking man"...nothing like an unbleeped Fuck to start the new year. Last year he jumped a football field, this year he jumps 96 feet up and lands on a building before jumping off, I hope this becomes a yearly ESPN tradition.

Blogama: Optimism

Saw these dudes recently here in Brooklyn, reminded me of how impressive rock n roll can be when you see it happening.

And Who Says Politics Are Boring

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Defiant, Elvis loving Governor Blago, with his lego man hair, shows up to nominate a replacement for Barack Obama's Senate seat, whacks the Dems for not taking away his authority to do so, then hands the nominee over to a wild barage of press questions, then pulls the mic back claiming "I don't want to hog the spotlight". Then it gets real interesting at 10:20 in when former Black Panther and current Illinois Representative and minister Bobby Rush shows up from out of the back of the crowd, speaking passionately thru his cancer ridden throat. There's even a lynching reference in there near the end right before Blago confidently strides out of the room as if he's the victor in some strange sideshow.