Thank You, President Bush

"Thursday's annual Census Bureau report on income, poverty and access to health care-the Bureau's principal report card on the well-being of average Americans-closes the books on the economic record of George W. Bush…. On every major measurement, the Census Bureau report shows that the country lost ground during Bush's two terms. While Bush was in office, the median household income declined, poverty increased, childhood poverty increased even more, and the number of Americans without health insurance spiked."

source

Anything on how much dumber Americans have gotten? This whole health care issue has exposed a lot of the nation's stupidity.

Running Through the Rain Forest

I know what you're thinking... "What is K.Fed doing in the rain forest?" Hardy-har-har, I get it. No, that's me, silly; I'm in the rain forests of Nevis, West Indies on a hiking adventure. We met up with our trusty tour guide, Jim Johnson, who is truly a god amongst men. He's like a computer science professor, Bear Grills, and Jedi all rolled into one. He told me he could survive alone in the jungle for years. I believe him. He has expert knowledge of all Nevisian flora, fauna, merriweather. He knows every trail, insect, and hidden ruin on the island. He also assaulted a doggy murderer with his own dead dog... Oh, and I got the hat in a strange Chinese-owned shop in the middle of Charlestown. It was white mesh and read "SPARKLER," thought the "S" and the "R" on the end were in a different font as the rest of the letters. Some confused it for "PARKLE" making it even harder to explain.

Cuba/Guns

"Alright, I want Cuba on the cover, give him a gun of course, and have him look slightly off to the side...sternly"

Weird and Twisted Nights

Last week, I heard this song in the new Gonzo documentary and first thought it was Elvis. I was surprised when the film said it was performed by Hunter S. Thompson & Ralph Steadman. Then I realized it made perfect sense.

Today, I discovered a compilation album put together by Hunter. The album is no longer available (unless you want to spend), but would make a great mixtape/Hunter commemorative. I think it was played at his funeral.

Teenage angst continues to pay off well

“I am fucking brilliant every night I go out there.”

"Wouldn't It Be Nice" No Music, Just Vocals

I can't remember if this has been posted before or not.

"God Only Knows" is even creepier.

Creed

The Funniest thing I've seen in a long time. This is a whole series of "spoofs," I guess you'd call them. I've seen a few...this one...just, the vocals take mockery to new heights.

Top Ten Rejected Songs From Bob Dylan's Forthcoming Christmas Album

Rolling Stone has learned that Bob Dylan will release a Christmas album October 13th. Entitled Christmas in the Heart, the collection will feature holiday standards including “Must Be Santa,” “Little Drummer Boy,” “Winter Wonderland” and “Here Comes Santa Claus.” All U.S. royalties from the collection will benefit the charity Feeding America, the nation’s leading domestic hunger-relief charity.

10. Ballad of a Jolly Man
9. Lay Lady Lay (Your Presents Under the Tree)
8. Let Me Die With My Stockings Hung
7. Stuck Inside of Macy's
6. All The Tired Reindeer
5. Visions of Santa / Ho Ho Ho Sister (tie)
4. These Pants I am Exchangin'
3. Tangled Up In Tinsel
2. Just Like a Snowman
1. North Pole Skyline

Before I Kick the Bucket List: Vegas Vacation

"Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night." -Chuck Palahniuk

This is a common to-do for most Americans but I have yet to go and I probably should.

Maybe I'm just a sucker for bright lights and free booze.

The dilemma is I am not sure which angle to approach Sin City: take my family, take a suitcase of drugs, take my autistic brother...

Best Facebook Status Update Ever

Richmond, Virginia - 1865

When I saw this photograph this morning, I immediately thought of Cary Street. Also, while spell-checking I learned "on Carey street" is a British euphemism for bankruptcy.

Hakuna Matata!

Shut up, dining room table

Are you strapping your six-shooter to your thigh and drawing Hitler mustaches all over your Shepard Fairey prints while getting ready to head out to your local congressperson's town hall meeting? Before you go, make sure to check out this informative slide-show before you end up being called a dining room table.

Healthcare Napkins All

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Brought to you proudly by JSegertimeradio. Thanks, Jay! 'Dem blue crabs look delicious!

Before I Kick The Bucket List: Concubine Masturbator

"Partake of some of life's sweet pleasures. And yes, get comfortable with yourself."
Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine

The TSX Concubine Masturbator is boobs, a vag and a little bit of weiner all in one handy, vibrating package. It uses 2 AA batteries and looks like it could live in the seedy section of Sesame Street.

They say that variety is the spice of life, right?

Blogylan: Sweat Pants Tucked into Rain Boots

This story is ridiculous.

"He was acting very suspicious,'' Buble said. "Not delusional, just suspicious. You know, it was pouring rain and everything."

"He was really nice, though, and he said he understood why I had to verify his identity and why I couldn't let him go," Buble said. "He asked me if I could drive him back to the neighborhood when I verified who he was, which made me even more suspicious.

"I pulled into the parking lot," she said, "and sure enough there were these enormous tour buses, and I thought, 'Whoa.'"

The Armpit Collection XXIV: Millenia

Found what I lost inside
My spirit has been purified

I might be wrong
I might be wrong
I could have sworn
I saw a light coming on

I thought I was smart
I thought I was right
I thought it better not to fight
I thought there was a virtue, in always being cool

Let people talk until they don't
Let's me and you keep on

It was all just a dream, Oh no
I wish it was real
All my pets they were there and they smiled
Take a shit - it was fine

All the players in the band
They can always find
Always find some number that we know

Oasis - Familiar To Millions+
Radiohead - Kid A/Amnesiac
The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots^
Holly Golightly - Slowly But Surely--
The Strokes - Mixed Bag*
The Walkmen - You & Me

+ "it was not a very happy time."
^Appearance numero dos
-- Appearance numero dos
*Yes, Mixed Bag.