Halloween Humor

The Armpit Collection X

I Accidentally Touched My Head

A Fine Closing For a Fine Campaign

This is a hell of a two pronged closing message. First one of the finest "contrast" ads I've ever seen. And then below is the hopeful "we can do this together" message. This man's leaving no money and no voter on the table. I heard he's just moved 100 paid staffers into Georgia and has brought in Al Gore to close out Florida. And he even has B-listers out on the road for him. In North Carolina alone we've got James Taylor playing free shows, Ashley Judd meeting with women's groups, and the cast of the Wire and Usher doing backyard BBQ's. I guess this is what the first truly 21st century campaign looks like.

Blogama - TV

30 Minutes of Prime Time Television.

What was ABC running?



Formerly Prime Time...

Sent to me by Becky

Don't worry, folks, I plan on voting in the great state of New York.

Last 30 Days

Larry David: Waiting for Nov. 4th

From Huffington Post: I can't take much more of this. Two weeks to go, and I'm at the end of my rope. I can't work. I can eat, but mostly standing up. I'm anxious all the time and taking it out on my ex-wife, which, ironically, I'm finding enjoyable. This is like waiting for the results of a biopsy. Actually, it's worse. Biopsies only take a few days, maybe a week at the most, and if the biopsy comes back positive, there's still a potential cure. With this, there's no cure. The result is final. Like death.

Five times a day I'll still say to someone, "I don't know what I'm going to do if McCain wins." Of course, the reality is I'm probably not going to do anything. What can I do? I'm not going to kill myself. If I didn't kill myself when I became impotent for two months in 1979, I'm certainly not going to do it if McCain and Palin are elected, even if it's by nefarious means. If Obama loses, it would be easier to live with it if it's due to racism rather than if it's stolen. If it's racism, I can say, "Okay, we lost, but at least it's a democracy. Sure, it's a democracy inhabited by a majority of disgusting, reprehensible turds, but at least it's a democracy."

[Read more, Huffington Post 10/22/08]

pigs

You know what I'm talkin about, New York's 'finest'- the butt-holes who have a license to toot in your face. Sick Motherfuckers!

You see I left my bag in the back of a cab because I got too..too. Ya know. I was snorting mushrooms outta my nose from the pizza 'with everything on it' I inhaled at lunch. At any rate, this bag was important to me. It was my dad's when he was my age, it had my iPod, my lease, important documents, notes, my badge, etc. in it. I called the cab the next morning when I came to. He said he dropped my bag at the 17th precinct on 51st btw 3rd and Lexington. I thought great, fantastic, I'll go down there to the station give em some hi-fives, talk sports, smile, pick up my bag.

I get to the station and immediatly the thunder and lightning strike down and the clouds roll in over head. I tell the woman at the front desk the situation. She's an old bitch with a mustache, but she pokes around here and there, nothin. In fact, there's no record of it. I tell her, I'll talk to the cab driver and come back later.

It's now 10:15 pm or so and I've come back and I have khalil (pronounced Kelly) with me, the cab driver. We walk in together, confident, like we have assault rifles and we might start flipping over desks and bullying. T-20 seconds later and Khalil is shot in the mouth, he's foreign and has a lisp. "Man down!" I scream. They isolate me in the corner and begin to rape me with me own rifle. "The bag wasn't dropped off here." "The cab driver's not telling the truth." "We wouldn't have thrown it away." "No you can't look in the trash." "The trash is gone." "We can't tell you who was working the desk." "You think we would throw it away? [disgust]"

Bloodied and exhausted, they kick me in the ribs and throw me out like a mangy dog. I crawl back in and demand the leiutenant. He comes over, "I just don't know what the recourse is," he says. I hear a Wall St. drunk in the back screaming, "Get the fuck off me!" The leiutenant continues, "It [the bag] was in harms way and then it came in here and was safe and then it went back out into harms way." Instantly an image of George W. flashes in my brain and I'm thinkin, What the fuck! What the hell does that mean! Yea, it was in harms way when it showed up here, you fuckin moonlightin liar! I tell him I wanna fill out a report immediatly.

What can I say, I'm absolutely and utterly disgusted with the police force. No responsibiltiy, no regard, No Class! A bunch of god damn derelicts! Now, let me get this straight. These people are allowed to carry a gun? And they want to make it illegal for me to pack one? Shhiiiiit, I don't think so Gilbert! I'm going to Wally World (Wal-Mart), who's coming with?

Poor Khalil's face up behind the desk and two pigs are eating his flesh and bone...I'm not surprised. Snouts all bloody and squeely.

My god, it's gettin bad.

San Ildefonso Pueblo's "Black Mesa"

The Found Magazine Guy

Easier with Practice

This is a film by a friend of Emily's, Kyle Alvarez (who shot Boo Ya and Bee Bop). The film is about Davy Rothbart, the Found Magazine Guy - also heard on This American Life. You might notice the lead actor, he's from Jarhead and Bobby. Should be an interesting movie, Kyle raised like a bazillion dollars on his own to get this movie made and there's a pretty good chance you'll hear about it in '09. Be sure to visit the website up above, great Video Blogs and all kinds of fun stuff.

Oh, it was shot in the 505

What happened to ‘real’ TV characters?

From The Marquee Blog: Twenty years ago this week, “Roseanne,” a TV series about a working-class family facing daily challenges with a blue-collar brand of humor, premiered on ABC. Today, with the state of the economy so bleak, more and more families — like “Roseanne’s” Conner clan — are clipping coupons and forgoing luxuries, making the message of the show perhaps more relevant today than ever.

And yet today it seems as if every character on television is upscale. While wealth is not synonymous with love and security, television has all but abandoned blue-collar characters. Modern-day shows tend to mock the working class and lack the soul that “Roseanne” once expressed so exuberantly.

What happened to shows about people who don’t have Birkin bags or slick luxury cars? The character of Naomi on “90210” seems to have a Chanel bag for every day of the school week. Members of the “Gossip Girl” cast can often be heard click-clacking along Manhattan sidewalks in Christian Louboutin heels.

[read more, The Marquee Blog]

On the Cross

The Armpit Collection IX

The Kinks - Muswell Hillbillies

In light of a previous post, I figured I'd share my favourite Kinks album. I first heard this record around the time I was introduced to Holly Golightly (she actually covers a view Davies tracks on the aforementioned), upstairs on NattyBo's phonograph at the corner of Cary & Lombardy in Richmond, VA. It was the piano/horn combo of track 2 that got me. "Acute Schizophrenia Paranoia Blues" is pure dixieland country-rock that encompasses the paranoia and pressure of modern society, that which I've truly come to know here in NYC. After writing and singing "I'm a 20th century man and I don't want to be here," I wonder how Ray Davies feels having made it to the 21st C. It's like Paul turning 64. Most of the lyrics on the album are quite a drag: life complications, alcoholic memory loss, jailed women, losin' land, losin' weight, no security, it's all pretty weird actually - and real! "Holiday" is a notable track on the lighter side, "I'm leavin' insecurity behind me," great creed for a vacation. Listen for the album's great guitar interplay in a variety of tones, piano & keyboard work, and harmonies.

This is one of those albums that doesn't have a bad track. Some are stronger than others, but each represents a piece of the greater work. A true piece of art really. In the trough of great country-rock records from the late sixties/early seventies, this one doesn't stand out commercially or critically. There are many records in the same vein as this one, reaching some form of a climax in American roots music. These Brits did it just as good as any of the others.

Notables (and feel free to Comment with additions):
The Basement Tapes
Beggars Banquet and Let It Bleed
Harvest
Sweetheart of the Rodeo
The Band
American Beauty and Workingman's Dead

On Undecided Voters

"I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?" To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

- David Sedaris, author

Kinks in Site

It would be interesting to see the Kinks reunite because they are about the only band from their era whose original members are still living. The lead singer, Ray Davies, will already be touring this winter, including stops at NY and D.C. A while back, Jay introduced me to the Kinks and I will never forget the first time he played me Berkley Mews. The song is somewhat rare and as far as the internet is concerned, I have only been able to find it on YouTube. YouTube does not get enough credit for its audio archives.

Grandma's Dead: Breaking Bad News With Baby Animals

Have you ever had to tell someone embarassing, horrible news and thought, "Hmm... sending bad news on postcard with cute baby animals on it; that's how I'll tell 'em!" Well this hilarious new book, "Grandma's Dead: Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals," might be just the book for you! It's a book of postcards, full of pictures of baby animals. (I believe that alone - postcards with baby animals - is probably a million dollar plus industry in America.) But these postcards contain the most devastatingly funny news: "God's Isn't Real," "You're Mother Spent Your College Money on Coke," or "Your Band Sucks."

In this week's New York Magazine feature "The Approval Matrix" the book scored in the lower right quadrant, earning high marks for "Low Brow/Brilliance," close to Britney Spear's comeback! Oh yeah, and my gf and her buddy, Ben, wrote it. I'm very proud of her, she's a Peach. (click for larger picture)

[source]

True Blood

So, I don't know if anyone has caught onto this show yet, but I must say that it is absolutely fantastic. It's created by Alan Ball, the man behind 6 Feet Under (for any fans of that show), and comes on Sunday nights at 9pm. In case you're unaware the basic premise is about the integration of vampires into mainstream society. It's set down in Louisiana, down in the swamp lands, and has this very spooky, gritty, and yet charming feel. Also of note is the fantastic selection of music, perfect example being last episode when Femme Fatale was playing while two characters were sniting vampire blood in a rundown trailer. It's part horror, part mystery, part love story, and part drama. So, all that said, if you have HBO and haven't seen the show yet I highly recommend it.

http://www.hbo.com/trueblood/

Daddy Laws

Gracelyn (Jimmy) Page Laws, my newest niece, was born Thursday.

Rhyme Time Links

boozer, snoozer, loser, user, cruiser, bruiser, accuser, abuser

This is the Kind of Shit We Have to Deal With Here In North Carolina

The Republican party of North Carolina is fucking disgusting. Monday morning I'm heading down to their offices and verbally railing on someone in the kindest, most polite yet factually forceful way I can. Now I know what you're thinking "But Brad, you have to work Monday". Well fortunately thanks to the economy I lost my job Tuesday so I know have free time on my hand. And not just I lost my job, the whole fucking hedge fund I worked for went belly up from the stock market doing cartwheels. So Monday morning I'm going to ask why, in a time when people are loosing their jobs left and right, and in a time when folks like my dad whose been disabled since '84 can't get healthcare, why are they spending their time talking about Godless Americans and socialist muslim sandniggers taking over the country. What a disgrace the Republican party has become. Abe Lincoln must be rolling over in his grave.