Picture Me When You're Naked

Photos come courtesy of Mary. These were taken when The Family Swaggards were in New York the other weekend (however not all of us made it to the shoot). ZING! Click to enlarge.

UPDATE: After speaking with Mary on Friday night, she thought I should include the portrait she took of me waiting for the subway (since it's the best photo of the bunch). Damn, I'm a good looking man, I can't help it.

Smokin' smokin'

So I saw probably my favorite act of civil disobedience tonight... No, not a pocket knife slipped into the side of some yuppie (insert self-hatred here) with his Polo collar popped, smug son of a bitch... that didn't happen.

At about 3:25am at the 1st Ave. and 14th St. L Train subway stop, I walk down the stairs to get on the train. Just like a normal person, wearing a hoody, listening to the Misfits on my iPod. You know me, normal person...

I walk next to people waiting on the platform. We're all here for the same fuckin' reason. We don't have cars and need to get to Brooklyn, goddammit! "I'm going east, young man." Anyways... People are standing around in crowds and solo, but I see this "hipsteresque" (I don't want to go full fleged "hipster" ....... nevermind, she was totes v v hip; she was a "getting-on-the-subway-with-a-bike hipster") girl SMOKING A FUCKING CIGARETTE ON THE SUBWAY PLATFORM!

WOW! Couldn't wait to smoke. Had to smoke it right there, huh? Clever.

I make eye-contact with her. I see the barely-there cigarette butt waving in her right hand above her head. I have a split second to give her a smile of approval. JESUS, YOU'VE GOTTA LOT OF NERVE. For some reason, smoking on the subway platform, UNDERGROUND, seems like a capital crime. Not because I want it to be, but just because it is... To put things in perspective...

(I've seen people peeing on the platform, I've heard stories of homeless dudes whipping their dicks out in front of chicks. I image exposing oneself doesn't come without a dash of "I don't give a fuck!" And oddly enough, I think that's an understatement. Who doesn't "not give a fuck" these days? Whipping out your privates in front of stangers takes a different breed indeed.... back to the smoking girl...)

(it is...) doing something blatantly wrong. There's no smoking on the platform, just like there's no smoking in church, you know? Never seen it done. AND SHE WAS DOING IT... She looked so cool. I wanted to be her, just not giving a fuck, confident as all hell... Telling any of the 8 million strangers in the City, "I'm smoking a cigarette somewhere I'm not supposed to. Bloomberg be damned!" So I walk on by, to the middle of the block-long walkway.

I light up.

Delicious. I've been smoking Parliment Lights lately (never while waiting for the subway though, it felt good). Camel switched up the flavor on their cigs a couple months back. No idea why... My own conspiracy theory thinks the government was cracking down on cigs with extraordinary amounts of nicotine, and Camel self-regulated to cut down. I always thought Camels had more nicotine than Marlboros, and that's why I liked them more. However, when I smoked a "new" Camel Light, I didn't feel the joy the old ones brought me. It was much more empty and weak flavored.... Anyways, I TOO WAS SMOKING WHILE WAITING FOR THE SUBWAY! Cool, huh? What's the worst that could happen?

(and my girlfriend smokes Parliment Lights)

I admit I looked left and right more than twice in the four minute timespan that it took me to finish (pound the cig). If a Cop was walking my way, I'd probably shit myself (BUSTED!), and then I guess wait to get shot... I heard NYPD never hesitates. Or maybe they'd consider me a terrorist and send me to Cuba for torture, leave me outside in an orange jumper, sweating while blindfolded, dogs barking in my face while I promise to never smoke underground, in public spaces no less, ever again.

Actually I got away with it. Most didn't notice. Someone walked by and said something to me, but I had my headphones up pretty loud; after the Misfits I listened to Bob Dylan's "Self Portrait."

You'll just lay there by the juniper while the moon is bright
Watch them jugs a-filling in the pale moonlight.

I start thinking how I need to talk to this girl. I walk up to her... she's listening to headphones, but peals them off her ears when I stop walking, directly in front of her.

"Were you smoking earlier?" Maybe I have the wrong girl.

"Why?"

"Because I think I saw you smoking earlier, and that's so badass! I've never seem someone smoke underground, on the platform before." She's smiling and I'm convinced she's friendly for someone talking to a stranger.

"Well, the sign said the train wasn't coming for 19 minutes! What was I supposed to do?" Sounding proud of her disobedience. I hear the train coming. She stands.

"You inspired me to smoke a cigarette too," I say hurriedly. She looks bewildered, maybe she misheard me. "I just smoked a cigarette over there," I clarified, pointing right.

"Yeah. It's just a fucking cigarette." The trains approaching, screeching, stopping... and she's about to get on. I tell her to have a nice night and get on a seperate subway car.

2 more stops.

Devo Art Show

Anyone at all interested in going down to Brooklyn for an art show by/inspired by Devo? Here is the link to the gallery and here is the link to a site devoted to the art (of which you will be able to see in person!) of Mark Mothersbaugh.

Brooklyn, NY-The Super Thing: NYC goes DEVO at 3rd Ward is a DEVO inspired group show experience of art, adventure and music featuring 20 Postcard Diaries prints by Mark Mothersbaugh! The Super Thing art exhibition and music event is dedicated to the zealous, jerky synth-powered, midwestern heroes of DEVO and showcases art which shares their bold aesthetics, politics and humor. DEVO has already inspired legions with their politics, new wave getup of nuclear hazmat suits, retro-futuristic plastic pomps, and ziggurat-shaped energy dome flower pot hats and you can expect the same from their art.

Excluding a Garbage Pail Kids retrospective or an Airheads taste testing gala, this is about as pumped as I will probably get for an art show.