Car Trouble

Breaking the law, breaking the law!!! Ugh, why can't The Man just leave a brotha be?! I'm just venting here a little, folks.

About a month ago I received a phone call from my Mother who informed me that lawyers working for the City of Richmond were trying to find me. Since my Mother is no snitch, she refused to tell them my whereabouts. So I called them, cautiously, and they told me I owe property taxes for my car for 2006-2007 to the tune of $350ish. WTF, I didn't even live in Virginia at that time! Seems that they've sent multiple notices to my OLD Richmond residence, aka what good does that do me. The lawyers explained that the DMV (who I gave my plates before I moved to NYC) doesn't talk to City Hall, so blah blah blah and forty phone calls later to the DMV, lawyers, and City Hall I sent a fax to the Director of Finance of the City of Richmond as I was instructed. Basically I told him that I was refusing to pay. Thug Life! Picture me rollin'!

Then the other week, while driving to Maryland in my girlfriend's father's car, I got pulled over for not using a turn signal! Living on the edge, I know... "License, registration, and proof of insurance, please." I had my forsaken VA license, but guess what wasn't in the car? Registration and proof of insurance. My girlfriend called her Dad, he said, "Of course I have registration, it's right here in my wallet." Between not having the paperwork and the turn signal, I now owe the New Jersey township of Clinton close to $300. Well today I got a call, explaining that I just missed my court date (which was not noted on my tickets, the cop never told me I had madatory court appearance) and that Clinton was just about to put out a warrant for my arrest. Come get me, pigfuckers, I got Juice! The city of Clinton apparently made the same fatal mistake as Richmond, they sent notifications to my old Richmond address. I have been woefully out of touch with these people. Good thing we talked today to get things straightened out... So I've got a rescheduled court date... Should be a lot of fun.

Today I applied for a new New York state driver's license. Yes, I made a face during the photo, the over zealous smile I had in my old driver's picture.

Has anyone else gotten in Car Trouble lately?

FML

In case you didn't know, the acronym F.M.L. stands for "Fuck My Life." A co-worker first showed me this hilarious FML webpage. It's a collection of these one or two line ideas that end with "FML." For example, "Today, my cousin is coming from out of state to visit me. I told my mom that I want to take her out to meet my friends. She replied 'Like who?' FML." Haha!

Yesterday I was stricken with a terrible bout of the stomach flu. I felt like someone was tearing up my insides, until both ends of my body decided to expel the most vile of liquids. Here would be my (extremely) personal FML entry from yesterday:

"I woke up and immediately ran to the bathroom. For a split second I couldn't decided if I should shit in the toilet and throw up on the floor, or throw up in the toilet and shit on the floor. FML."