Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Crust Tastes Like Cardboard

Tonight my roommate told me about a new commercial he saw on television. "It's a Domino's Pizza commercial, and they're basically saying they now make a completely different pizza with different ingredients. It looks pretty good." This made me quite curious since I was somewhat jonesing for a slice of some sorts. I YouTube'd the video, and this is what I found:



OK! A couple questions come to mind... First of all, I'm glad they've gotten off their asses to make a decent effort into making edible pizza. They kept saying things like, "now we use real cheese!" What they hell were they using before?! Another bizarre moment, when the focus group was asked their opinion on Domino's and they all said it sucked! "The crust tastes like cardboard." Kinda bizarre to put in your commercial. Then the actual employees watched the criticism claiming it was hard to watch. Well, duh, fuckheads! You've been screw-up of the industry for at least over a decade now. Did you actually think the food you were making tasted good? No, of course you didn't. Everyone knows Domino's was the worst. It's what you ate when you didn't care what you were eating.

But this is 2010, and the future of Domino's Pizza is NOW. Now they claim "Oh Yes We Did" as their new slogan, and they rebuilt the pizza from the crust up.

I had to try it. I ordered on handtossed crust with "new" sauce, sausage, and green peppers. My roommate got thin crust with ham and pineapple. Within 15 minutes the pizza was a-knockin' on our door! I told the delivery man, "You're swimming in uncharted waters; I hope you've brought something good." Given that English wasn't his first language he asked me to repeat myself, and I just reiterated, "So I heard the pizza is good now. Do you like it?" He smiled and said he LOVED it, and I would too.

He was right. Oh yes they did. You might want to try some yourself.

4 comments:

lucy lawless said...

Domino's Delivery in WV...best job I ever had. I had a slice last night. Not good. I did enjoy their chicken parm sub though.

JlikeBoB said...

I used to like Dominos. Of course we all know that Papa Juan is the best fast food pizza chain now and I'm not sure there's much Dominos can do to change that. I did like this commercial though.

Secret ingredient my ass.

NathanaelMcDaniel said...

(from the head office) "watch this, we'll stick our big, fat submissive ass right in their face, all beggin-like — and sure enough, in the name of consumer freedom, they'll fuck it 'til the pizza comes."

as with most of corporate america, there is no commodity, only an idea — and as this very same model has taught us, ideas are free! the 'pizza' is merely packaging the transaction — you know, like cardboard.

JlikeBoB said...

What they don't talk about is the cap or limit on the amount of money they can spend on ingredients so that people will choose "fast food" pizza over frozen or local pizza, cause it's cheaper and more accessible. They've got a couple of "chefs" standing around...if they were chefs and they wanted to make a better fucking pizza they'd demand every Domino Franchise get quality cheeses, spices and vegetables from local markets.

Joe Corbins anyone?