Sunday, June 28, 2009

Paris 6.28.09

Today Amanda and I had a dream-like day a la Paris, and I have already captured some of it on video and would like to share it avec toi. The first part of the video is at our hotel, then we go to Notre Dame and accidentally caught mass! Then we saw the Roman ruins underground and headed to the Latin Quarter (#39 is Ernest Hemingway's old apartment). Then we went to the Luxemburg Gardens (the French senate meets in the building), and then we walking around outside la Lourve.

Basically we're having the times of our lives. Because the video is long (7 minutes) it may take a while to load, and you may need to pause it once it starts to let it load. I will probably make more of these videos as the trip goes on, but being fascinated by la technologie, I had to share.


Here is the link if the embedded video is too slow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqnrL4dL1s0

Saturday, June 27, 2009

WhoDaFuckDatNinja?

Somewhere There's a Soul Train Running Through Harlem



Well since Matt's gone to the land of Glass Joe I figured I'd come out of sebatical shy of the 2010 midterm elections. Also I was just watching We Are The World and realizing how awesome Michael Jackson was for getting Bobby D, The Boss, Huey Lewis, and Hall and Oates to all sing on one tune. Also I was running through my mind my fave Mike moments...The lean on Smooth Criminal, the dance he did for Eddie Murphy and Iman in Do You Remember The Time, the entire Off The Wall album (greatest disco record EVER). But I came across this early clip of The Jackson 5 doing maybe my fave song by them, I Want You Back, and thought I'd share.

(by the way, is it just me or has MTV played more videos in the last 2 days than they have in the last 2 years)

Friday, June 26, 2009


Au Revoir, Mes Amis!

Tonight I am leaving for Paris, so pardon moi if I do not post much over the next week. Maybe Brad will come back to fill your PTIPS needs? Just kidding, it's not an election year; Brad won't be back until 2012. Anyways, I found this picture today and thought it was funny (and useful)!


Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson "King of Pop" 1958-2009


I was at work when I heard the news... Of course I was skeptical to what I was hearing, wasn't he was about to embark on a European tour?

When I was a little kid the movie "Moonwalker" was one of my favorite VHS tapes to watch. My sisters and I loved the music, the music videos, and the outrageous dance moves. Undoubtedly the man who invented the moonwalk deserves a lot of credit.

I guess my last tangible Michael Jackson experience was from the early Richmond days, watching his music video collection on DVD. Lucas owned the DVD, and since we didn't have one miserable channel on our television we'd watch The Man in the Mirror instead. Fond memories looking back on it, though I probably wasn't "thrilled" at the time.

Ah-hee-hee in peace, Michael.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Blowjob much? "Have it your way!"

(source)

BK SUPER SEVEN INCHER. "You put it in your mouth, in your motherfuckin' mouth."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

France Considers the Ban of Burkas

The president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy, said "The problem of the burka is not a religious problem. This is an issue of a woman's freedom and dignity. This is not a religious symbol. It is a sign of subservience; it is a sign of lowering. I want to say solemnly, the burka is not welcome in France," Sarkozy told lawmakers.

(source)

In 2004, the French parliament passed legislation banning Muslim girls from wearing headscarves in state schools, prompting widespread Muslim protests. The law also banned other conspicuous religious symbols including Sikh turbans, large Christian crucifixes and Jewish skull caps.

Monday, June 22, 2009

New Banner

...Comes courtesy of J (believe it or not)! Thanks, man, it's nice to see a 'lil color.

1943 Guide to Hiring Women


The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine.
___________________________________________________

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees


There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from western properties:

1. If you can get them, pick young married women. They have these advantages, according to the reports of western companies: they usually have more of a sense of responsibility than do their unmarried sisters; they're less likely to be flirtatious; as a rule, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it — maybe a sick husband or one who's in the army; they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Most transportation companies have found that older women who have never contacted the public, have a hard time adapting themselves, are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. While there are exceptions, of course, to this rule, general experience indicates that "husky" girls — those who are just a little on the heavy side — are likely to be more even-tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination — one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit but also reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job. Transit companies that follow this practice report a surprising number of women turned down for nervous disorders.

5. In breaking in women who haven't previously done outside work, stress at the outset the importance of time — the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employe in garage or office a definite day-long schedule of duties so that she'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employe change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be nervous and they're happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. Companies that are already using large numbers of women stress the fact that you have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and consequently is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful in issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way that men do. Never ridicule a woman — it breaks her spirit and cuts her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator uniforms that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too strongly as a means of keeping women happy, according to western properties.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Armpit Collection XX: Three Dubyas



Hank Williams III Lovesick Broke & Driftin'

I've been thinking about this record recently. I got this record from my brother around the time it came out - he had told me about Hank III. This is a country record, probably one of the best country records I've ever heard. The production is classically slick, but heavier than most country records, which probably has something to do with III's metallic tendencies. The drum/bass sound in "One Horse Town" is something more out of Tom Waits record, and thick rhythm guitar, real thick. There's a lot of tasteful violin and steel guitar lead playing throughout the entire set, pivotal for making a proper country record. The song writing teeters between haunting to cheesy, as any country record should. "7 Long Months, 39 Days...", "Cecil Brown," "Trashville," "Walkin' With Sorrow," the song titles are perfect.

The reason this record will stay with me forever is for the crowning achievement "Whisky, Weed and Women" aka the Three Dubyas - close to any cool man's heart. This is perfect country, fucking perfect. Deeply sad lyrics crooned over a steel drenched, acoustic heavy country blues - right out of granddad's playbook. I was purely in shock/bliss when I heard this song, there's no intro, nothing, just starts with his high whine..."As I watch the sun set slowly I hold back a tear." Wow...and yes, at times they do seem to have the upper hand.

Also, the end of this record has a fabulous cover of the Boss' "Atlantic City." I heard this version before the Boss' and am still loyal to it, though the Boss bangs it out in classic Boss style - a few chords and some Jersey swagger. III gives it much needed arrangement exploitation. It's awesome..."Honey last night I met this guy and I'm gonna do a favor for him."

And this clip is for the Radical

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Whatever Works



anyone here about this one? popped up on me . . . could be rough.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Banksy Show • Bristol City Museum • 2009



SPOILER ALERT: This appears to be video of the entire art show.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Voices of Home Improvement

When Home Depot surged in the retail Home Improvement industry, I respected hearing Gene Hackman's voice for the Lowe's TV commercials. Hackman has a good villain caricature. I always respected Lowes from when I was a kid. Besides 84 Lumber, it was the home improvement store I'd visit with Jimbo. Now Home Depot's got Ed Harris, a very respectable recent Western Good Guy in black, but he's been known to play a villain as well...even black face. I also hear a fair amount from Harris' M&A co-star Jeff Bridges in TV commercials, Duracell, Hyundai, Ameriquest, there are a few others.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Below, get an exclusive look at Oates' contribution to Sweet 'Stache. The book is available now.

A Foreword by John Oates


I couldn’t wait to grow a mustache. I stopped shaving my upper lip the day I graduated from high school. By the time I was ready to enter college the following September, I had a sparse, vestigial growth of dark hair sprouting due south of my nose. Though I cannot recall the exact date, I can never forget the deep-seated motivation for this tonsorial compulsion. On the surface, I am sure it was somewhat inspired by the desire to look older and more mature . . . but if I had to delve, it was probably more driven by the fact that I always hated my upper lip and the way I looked when I smiled.


In fact, having a mustache and never smiling became a permanent component of my persona through the quaintly self-important decade of the seventies. Enter the big eighties and, symbolic of the zeitgeist of the era, my facial hair grew denser and more imposing, and like the supernova that was my career, the ’stache seemed to explode from my face, luminous and larger than life itself ... but still no smile.


Now in retrospect, I can see that my personality and my mustache had become intrinsically linked. That dark swath of hair became my living logo. As I begat the ’stache, the mustache became me, symbolically thrusting forward from its prominence in the center of my countenance. A flying buttress of follicles projecting my power and personality out to the world that fell before it. More than a hairstyle or a beard, the mighty mustache became somehow much more than a mere personal grooming choice ... moreover, it conveyed a subtly threatening and unyielding masculine image, complex in its message and undeniable in its statement.


So for over two decades I bore that albatross noir through the protracted adolescence known as pop stardom. From every angle, in every photograph, bopping through every silly ’80s MTV moment, my mustache became my marquis, until I could not distinguish between it and me. Then I changed. ...


In 1990, there occurred a life-altering convergence of circumstances, dusted with a sprinkling of fate, which led to a quantum collapse of many close relationships, both business and personal. The resulting mid-life revelation finally shook me from my childlike stupor, and one night, bathed in the light of where my future might lead me ... I stared at a mustache on a stranger’s face reflected in the mirror of a Tokyo Hotel room. Then, at that moment, with total commitment and trembling hand, I knew what I must do ... the ’stache had to go. The act itself, the stroke of the blade, was surprisingly simple, but as the shaving continued, the cutting began to take on a ritualistic gravitas ... for as the hair fell away, from the chrysalis emerged a man.


No longer possessed by the power of the ’stache, I was reborn, wriggled out from under the skin of that mustachioed character, and for the first time in so many years ...


I began to smile.


-- John Oates, music and mustache legend

(courtesy of Michael Sliwa)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Armpit Collection XIX: Free For All


Art Blakey is like, really black. Not just in color. He's largely credited with surging jazz ahead with the good-time attitude it had attained in the early part of the 20th Century, as well as playing toward the sentiments of some defectors who were intrigued by rhythm & blues and turned off by bebop. Thus, hard bop, which in my humble opinion is a breeding ground for all things that are entertaining and interesting about music. It combines pace with creativity.

It was difficult to pick a Blakey record and it's very likely this won't be the last you see of him. His band, the Jazz Messengers, is widely recognized as THE proving ground for jazz musicians. What makes Free For All interesting to me is the presence of both Wayne Shorter and Freddie Hubbard, extremely gifted artists in their own right. Blakey had many incredible bands though. This record is possibly the best instance where Blakey was able to instigate the more ridiculous and creative aspects of his younger talent. If you can imagine him as that overtly strong kid on the playground who keeps spinning the little merry-go-round faster and harder, all the while laughing.

Blakey being a drummer, it was quite an honor to rise to composition or musical director in his bands. There's only four tracks on this record, but the two that took the wind outta me are "Free for All" (Shorter) and "The Core" (Hubbard). Right around the 9 minute mark in "Free for All" Blakely goes nuts, pulls out two machine guns and destroys his kit. It sounds as if he's laughing right there to the end. And what an intro to a record! Then, the creepy bass intro to "The Core," from which the song never recovers. The horns beg to cut loose from the hypnotic horn blasts, like a horse itching to break free from it's caravan. This is a type of song that summons great things, you hear it as heroes walk towards victory and it chokes up the Mighty. I urge you to download these two tracks. They are genius.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Turn and face the strange! I was less than thrilled with the old blog layout, because all the YouToob videos were cut off on the edges (UPDATE: They're still cut off, but not by as much). Hopefully we'll have better luck in this format. I also turned the lights on and made this mother white. Hope it doesn't hurt your bloodshot eyes. Finally, I kicked Dalton off the blog because I don't trust anyone over 40.

Feel free to complain in the comments section. Also if someone wants to create a new banner, I'll put 'er up. Not sure what the dimensions are, but if you figure it out lemme know.

Fingerless



This is a video starring my (and your) good buddy, Jay. Found the link via Facebook.

If you really like it you can have the rights / It could make a million for you overnight







Blogama: NoKo Labor Camps



They got 12 years. Very intense. Time to send ol' Bill Richardson in for the rescue mission.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Drunk History

Shahab is in Egypt

You all may remember my good friend and roommate, Shahab, biked cross country last summer. It was his last big adventure before beginning law school.

After two semesters of classes, he is now attending American University, Cairo Campus. That's right, Shahab is in Egypt for the summer (very exciting and sandy)!!!

Here is a picture Shahab sent debunking the myth that The Great Pyramids are massive structures. As you can see Shahab towers over the Pyramids, making them look no bigger than soccer balls.

Here is a video link of Shahab visiting one of the Wonders of the World... Meanwhile I'll be eating a burrito on my couch watching "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here."

Friday, June 5, 2009

Surprise, Surprise (Sweet Ending to this Video)

Picture Me When You're Naked

Photos come courtesy of Mary. These were taken when The Family Swaggards were in New York the other weekend (however not all of us made it to the shoot). ZING! Click to enlarge.

UPDATE: After speaking with Mary on Friday night, she thought I should include the portrait she took of me waiting for the subway (since it's the best photo of the bunch). Damn, I'm a good looking man, I can't help it.

Old Song, New Video

MGMT's "Kids" has been everywhere for a while now, but the official music video is brand new and horrifyingly abusive and terrifying and awesome.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Conan's Mushroom Kingdom

This observation comes via Gawker via Serious Lunch. Do you think Conan's monologue background is inspired by the Super Mario Bros?

Monday, June 1, 2009