Blogama: Optimism

Saw these dudes recently here in Brooklyn, reminded me of how impressive rock n roll can be when you see it happening.

And Who Says Politics Are Boring

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Defiant, Elvis loving Governor Blago, with his lego man hair, shows up to nominate a replacement for Barack Obama's Senate seat, whacks the Dems for not taking away his authority to do so, then hands the nominee over to a wild barage of press questions, then pulls the mic back claiming "I don't want to hog the spotlight". Then it gets real interesting at 10:20 in when former Black Panther and current Illinois Representative and minister Bobby Rush shows up from out of the back of the crowd, speaking passionately thru his cancer ridden throat. There's even a lynching reference in there near the end right before Blago confidently strides out of the room as if he's the victor in some strange sideshow.

Ellington at Newport

So I was going to post this in the comments section of Seger's post on Mingus but as I started to write it became a blog post of it's on...

My first jazz record, Ellington at Newport. A fantastic record on it's own right, but the majority of the magic rests in the final song, "Diminuendo and Crescendo in Blue". The version Duke and his band did of "Diminuendo and Crescendo in Blue" that night literally damn near set the crowd into a riot. Ellington told Paul Gonsalves (tenor sax) to blow as long as he wanted during the interlude, which Ellington later called "The Wailing Interval" or "Blow By Blow." In what has since become jazz folklore, Gonsalves almost created a riot as he played a tenor sax solo for 27 choruses that stirred up the normally staid crowd into a frenzy. Legend has it that the solo made a striking platinum blonde woman in a black evening dress jump from her box seat and start dancing. This helped serve as a catalyst for the crowd frenzy that grew as Gonsalves continued his solo. The crowd was racially segregated and as the black half started going wild so did the white half. The cops on guard yelled at Duke to stop fearing a riot but he yelled back basically saying that it was too late to stop now.

Unfortunately there's no video of the performance, but here's a video clip I found of Duke and his band (Gonsalves included) performing "Crescendo in Blue" just a few short weeks after the Newport performance. Before this record came out Ellington's career was on the downturn, but after this his music was suddenly reintroduced to a new generation of fans

The Armpit Collection XIII

Mingus Ah Um

"My whole conception with my present Jazz Workshop group deals with nothing written. I 'write' compositions--but only on mental score paper--then I lay out the composition part by part to the musicians. I play them the 'framework' on piano so that they are all familiar with my interpretation and feeling and with the scale and chord progressions to be used. Each man's particular style is taken into consideration, both in ensemble and in solos. For instance, they are given different rows of notes to use against each chord but they choose their own notes and play them in their own style, from scales as well as chords, except where a particular mood is indicated. In this way I can keep my own compositional flavor in the pieces and yet allow the musicians more individual freedom in the creation of their group lines and solos."

This is the first jazz record I really got into. My thinking is that it represents a well conceptualized link between the old (big band swinging type jazz) and the coming (free, improvising intellectual type jazz). There's also a lot of communal blues power in this record. Listen for Fables of Faubus...that main horn melody makes me want to crack open an ice tray, fill up my glass with ice and bourbon.

Springsteen Super Bowl Commercial

Get excited goddamnit! And kudos to Don Mischer Productions for getting it right once again. First Michael Jackson then Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, and now The Boss. Don Mischer is on a roll, minus the 2004 DNC balloon drop "what the fuck are you guys doing up there" incident of course.

UFO-01 Detector

A friend recently pointed this UFO Detector to me on Amazon.com The product reviews are laugh out loud funny!

***** Astonishing, it works!, January 7, 2008
by E. Jackson
"At first I was a bit skeptical of this product, since my last experiments with UFO Detectors had failed. But I was amazed when the product arrived, and even before I had taken it out of the box, a giant blue Police box landed in my backyard! A scruffy man with a brown trenchcoat told me his gravitational flux capacitor had registered my UFO Detector, and that I needed to be careful with it. I said thanks and waved goodbye, then walked out into a large field. To my amazement, I found a giant spaceship belonging to a man named Han Solo. He called it the Millennium Falcon and offered me a ride, but at that moment my UFO Detector went off real bad, and I turned around to see a giant ship crashing into the ground. A blue alien came out and complained that Moya wasn't running too good. I helped this woman and her crew fix the ship and waved goodbye to all the aliens. Exhausted I went home. And THAT was just the first day! I have had this UFO Detector for over a week now, and have discovered amazing UFO's with it. A giant bug ship named Lexx, , Another strange ship with two buffoons named Lister and Rimmer, and The Star Trek Enterprise! OH MY GOSH! I highly recommend this UFO Detector to anybody who wants an amazing adventure. It's Great! "

The rest of the reviews are just as great.

"One Of The Things That Amazes Me Is That They Don't Seem To Go About This In A Show Business Way"

A wonderful thing happened to Me over Christmas. Besides getting Guitair Hero: World Tour for my Wii I also received my very first Stooges album, the fantastic Rhino reissue of Fun House. It's one of the handful of records I've ever heard that actually lives up to the hype. And whilst doing some Stooges research over the past few days I came across this concert footage from Cincinnatti 1970. Enjoy!

Quiet Reflection

If left alone for an afternoon, there's no telling what my Mac and I will do. I made another song today in Garageband, a minute long instrumental track titled, "Quiet Reflection." Seeing that one can't exactly post a .mp3 on the blog, I went ahead and videotaped the outrageous Xmas display at the gas station down the street, thus making the project "shareable." When the Xmas decorations are put in slow motion with the song, I believe it brings both the song and video more to life. I got inspired to make this after watching this video.

If you go to the YouToobs to see the video, you can click "watch in high quality," and it looks and sounds a little better than how it's posted in the blog.

Young Money (An Ode)

Over Xmas Day, while hanging out in an obscure part of Brooklyn with some good friends, I learned the ways and means of the Apple program "Garageband." I am now a full-fledged music Producer, in the same vein as Trent Reznor, Dr. Dre, and Babyface... I already know how to use iMovie. So today I produced/composed a brief work of art titled "Young Money (An Ode)". I made it for my girlfriend, who I love very much, and is vacationing in Nevis, West Indies... Love enough to dedicate my first 100% Macintosh work of art to. She has no idea how lucky she is...

Redneck Pornography

I can imagine that after a while, the barrel starts to get hot...
Am I right, guys?

IAN MACKAYE ON... COMPUTERS

“It’s fascinating to think that people are spending enormous blocks of time, even without working, in front of these light boxes, tapping on plastic things. They get up after eight hours of intensive work and nothing has moved and nothing has changed but I could just spill some tea on this table and the stain would still be here. I don’t think there’s ever been a point in history where you could spend eight hours doing something and not a speck of dust gets moved. When you cook for eight hours you’ve got a lot of food, if you’ve been sweeping the floor is clean, if you are building something it gets built. Even if you are writing on paper you have paper that’s now been written on. There’s something fascinating about this idea that everything you do it doesn’t exist, it just exists in this temporal form. The information doesn’t exist. I mean, obviously I know that you are here because you wrote to me on the computer and I wrote back so there was a net effect and now we’re here. I’m not saying it’s a bad technology, I just think it’s an interesting idea. What will it do to people mentally? What will happen to our society if they feel like they can’t get anything done? I don’t know."

(source)

Merry Xmas

A Season of Giving, a Sense of Common Purpose

Merry Fucked Up Christmas!

This is cruel cruel cruel. And as he's crying the family just laughs away.

Today My Hate For The Yankees Grows

First they buy my second favorite pitcher, CC Sabathia, for 7 years $161 million dollars (effectively taking the bat away from the best long ball hitting pitcher in the league). Then they pick up AJ Burnett for 5 years $82.5 million dollars. And now they've bought Mark Teixeira for 8 years $180 million dollars. One can only imagine whose next...

Blogama: Your Weekly Address

"The search for knowledge, truth and a greater understanding of the world around us."

Blog # One

"Every story is based on a premise, is the working out of a premise."

Ishmael
~ By: Daniel Quinn

I Want My MTV, Back

Amy Winehouse - New Music - More Music Videos

With all this talk of restructuring the auto industry it's got me thinking that the real industry that needs restructuring is music television, most importantly MTV. Over the last quarter they have seen a 23% drop in their core demo of 12- to 34-year-olds and conversely this is causing ad revenue to dry up. So with numbers falling what's their solution you may ask? Well according to Variety it's "16 new reality shows". Now granted some of these seem interesting (like a Matt Stone and Trey Parker produced show), and they are "going to focus less on loud and silly hooks and more on young people proving themselves" which is always a good thing. Hell, they even go so far as to say that they are trying to create shows for the "Obama generation". But "G's to Gents"? Donald Trump's "Girls of Hedsor Hall" where a dozen hard-partying young women are whisked off to an English finishing school? Sure that may be better than endless loops of Viva La Bam and Pimp My Ride, but here's an idea. How about they play actual videos.

There's less overhead as it's much cheaper to produce. It makes for more enjoyable viewing. And seeing as Music is in the title of the channel it just makes sense. They have enough archived video and new video that they could play a wide amalgamation of material. Vintage clips from the pre music television days, videos from days of MTV past, modern pop radio stuff for the casual MTV fans, indie music, and more interesting bands like Radiohead, Wilco, Springsteen, ect. Maybe do some of those MTV concerts like they used to do. And sprinkle in some musical programing such as "making of's" and documentaries.

MTV used to have a certain feel to it, a certain something that always kept you checking back to see what was the next new thing. I remember the feelings I felt the first time I saw "Smells Like Teen Spirit", or "Closer", or "Creep". I remember staying up late to watch bands perform. I remember watching for hours in hopes of catching Dr Dre. It always kept me coming back for more. But now there's hardly nothing on the channel, minus the occasional stand out performance on one of their award shows. There's an hour of videos in the morning and that's about the extent of it unless your tied up in the soap opera that is Hedi Montag's life. In fact, the best thing I've seen on MTV in the last 4 years (not including awards shows) was seeing Amy Winehouse play a late night concert from the TRL studios about a year and a half ago. So in the spirit of leaving on a good note, I'll leave you with a clip of the last good thing I saw on MTV. Enjoy, and let's hope music makes it back to Music Television.

Sex Ed Rocks

If Obama Can't Pray With Pastor Rick Then How Can He Negotiate With Castro?

Goddamn, talk about pastor problems. First outrage over Rev Wright, then over Pastor Otis Moss, and now Rick Warren. Now for some background, Rick Warren was a staunch proponent of Proposition 8 out in California, and has said some pretty nasty things about gay rights and abortion. And even though Barack Obama disagrees on these issues he has still selected Pastor Rick Warren to give the invocation at the inauguration, and the gay and lesbian community along with many on the left have gone into an uproar. They say "how could you give this man such a platform, legitimizing him and his views". Well if that's the case then how could the left support Obama sitting down with dictators such as Raul Castro and thus fore "legitimizing" him?

All during the campaign the view from the right has been how that negotiating with the Castro's, and the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's of the world would give them a platform and legitimize their hate filled speech and evil acts. And now the left, who supported Obama in negotiating with these kinds of people, are now using the same logic against him for having Pastor Rick Warren give a prayer at the inauguration. From day one of Obama's campaign he has spoken of "starting a dialect between differing points of view". This is nothing new for him. So I don't see why all the shock and ballyhoo. Also of note is the fact that the man giving the benediction, Rev Joseph E Lowery, is the complete opposite of Rick Warren. He's pro gay rights, pro choice, and very much a leader on civil rights. So the opening prayer goes to the anti-gay preacher and the closing prayer goes to the pro-gay preacher. Seems fair to me.

Obama has an amazing ability to take from people the issues they can find agreement on and work with them on those issues, no matter how radical some of their views may be. He found agreement with unrepentant terrorist Bill Ayers on education, so they worked on education. He found agreement with Rev Wright on God and poverty, so they worked together on those issues. He found agreement with Senator Brownback (whose as far right wing as they come) on AIDS in Africa, so they worked together on that issue. And he found agreement with Senator Luger on nuclear proliferation, so they worked together on that issue.

So if the left can't be cool with Pastor Rick then how can they be cool with Obama sitting down with Ahmadinejad who has said that he doesn't believe in the Holocaust? You can talk with, work with, and deal with people who don't completely agree with you. Tolerance also means being tolerable to people who don't agree with your view of tolerance. And it's that sort of inclusive kumbaya approach that is going to get our country back on the right track. Obama and Castro aren't going to agree on whether Communism or Democracy is the path for Cuba, but they can come to an agreement that allows trade relations and for Cuban-Americans to go visit their families. And Obama and Rick Warren aren't going to agree on gay rights and abortion but they do agree on climate change, poverty, health care, and the fight against HIV-AIDS, so why not work together to tackle those issues that they do agree on.

It's time to stop letting these great divides divide us from common purposes that we do agree on. Or as Barack Obama said today "that dialogue I think is part of what my campaign's been all about, that we're not going to agree on every single issue, but what we have to do is to be able to create an atmosphere where we can disagree without being disagreeable, and then focus on those things that we hold in common as Americans."

CNN States the Obvious

Is this really news? I don't mean any offense to the Pasley family and their poor daughter, I just hate reading headlines like this, especially when this is CNN.com's top story. Hopefully this article will bring awareness to the issue, and a way to break cancer news to children in a "good" way will be discovered. No?

The Great Thing About Year End Lists

Sure they can be debated and pulled apart for putting crap at the top (Rolling Stone calling Beyonce's "Put a ring on it" as number one single) or for emitting stuff that shouldn't have been. But the great thing about year end lists is that you sometimes stumble across things that you never knew existed, like this video above. Fleet Foxes "White Winter Hymnal"

Cowboys to Girls/Bang Bang

My Love For The Boss

So I remember a smoke filled night several years ago at the original Swaggard house, when for some reason a debate broke out about the merits of Bruce Springsteen. Someone, whose name I can't remember, was down on the Boss and I remember Seger and several others looking at him as if he'd lost his mind. Well shortly after then Bruce released the 25th anniversary edition of Born to Run. I remember Seger picking it up and for weeks at work going on and on about how great it was. My virgin ears had never heard it, but I knew there was a road trip planned for the hills of Maryland, so I figured that'd be a good time to experience it. As we hit the highway Seger hit play and I heard what sounded like the opening score of a great American movie. The piano twinkling with the harmonica rising as I imagined the camera sweeping around in wide screen capturing this picture that Bruce was describing in intimate detail. And from that day forward I've been hooked and my love for Bruce has progressed.

A month later I found an old vinyl copy of Born to Run at an antique store in North Carolina. And that record would go on to soundtrack the next year of my life. There were cold winter nights where I made love while that record played. And then after a subsequent break up there were nights where I'd drink High Life while listening to "Backstreets" over and over. When the break up started to heal there were a many a nights where I'd drink Carlos Rossi while burning up the pitch on FIFA as Clarence's sax on "Jungleland" filled up my apartment. It was a record that could bring on feelings of love, sadness, friendship, and happiness all in the same moment.

After my love affair with Born to Run I moved to Born In The USA, The River, Greetings From Asbury Park, ect. On Saturday nights I'd stay up counting lines with Darkness On The Edge Of Town and wake up on Sunday mornings to The Seger Sessions and a cup of coffee. I once even gave my boss a copy of The Boss's greatest hits for Boss's day (he didn't seem to get it). And then when coming to North Carolina I got the pleasure of seeing Mr Obama twice as he strolled out to "The Rising" with 20,000+ singing "Na na nana nana na na" in unison.

He's scored so much of my life over the last few years. Early mornings and late nights. Love and lust. Heartaches and heartbreaks. Butterflies and long goodbyes. The forming of friendships and the unfortunate distance that happens as life rolls on and some move north and some move south. And for every circumstance that comes about Bruce always seems to have some sort of plain spoken advice laden within his songs.

So I guess this is my open love letter to the Boss. One he'll surely never read and one that I'm not sure why I'm writing. But it just seems like sometimes in life it never hurts to say thank you, even if the person whom the thanks is intended for never hears it.

So This Is Why He Never Hurts...

That's some serious reaction time there.

Blogama: Your Weekly Address

Today's focus, the housing crisis and announcing his HUD Secretary.

Freedom Concerts '09, Coming to a Town Near You (if you're in 'real america' of course)

Oh joy, it's that time of year again. Time to buy Christmas presents for all the good little boys and girls. And what better gift to give than a Sean Hannity Freedom Concert '09 gift set. For just $75 you get a Freedom Gift Box, one general admission ticket, a 2009 Freedom Alliance calender, a commemorative mug, and free shipping. And what a traveling road show they have. Mr "Some Gave All" Billy Ray Cyrus, Charlie Daniels and his band, Christian recording artist extrodinare Michael W Smith, General Oli North, and the singer of the Republican National Anthem (Proud to be an American) Lee Greenwood. Better yet Sean Hannity has agreed to duet on "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" with Charlie Daniels at every stop. And just so you know, their official website says that you should "budget 3.5 hours for the evening of entertainment, inspiration, and challenge!". If you have any questions then feel free to email them to Freedom@PremiereCollectibles.com. And order soon, because with this much freedom tickets are bound to go fast.

Momma Laws

My sister Virginia, whom I believe owned the first Family Swaggard shirt, had her first baby a few days after my brother's. It took me a while to announce this because I did not have a picture of them both. The girl's name is Avabelle Love and she is my Goddaughter.

Blogama: Blogama

A blog post from the insightful friend of mine, Danny Lanzetta:

http://dannylanzetta.blogspot.com/

This Is How You Sell Conservative America On Clean Energy

Notice the keywords, Jobs, Made in America, Pickup Truck, No to Tehran, and more Jobs.

Gay Guys, Tornado Chasers, & Lester Bangs

I have been very fond of Philip Seymour Hoffman for quite some time. My first conscious recollection of him is the creepy guy from The Talented Mr. Ripley. He seemed to blow up after that. One reason I think I have a dude crush on him is that he is featured in most films by the consistently bad ass, Paul Thomas Anderson. One role I like in particular from those films was Hoffman as the gay guy from Boogie Nights. He also pulls off the gay guy from Capote (Capote), quite extraordinarily. Conversely, he can convincingly be the bad guy like a fraudulent mattress store owner in Punch Drunk Love and the villain from Mission Impossible 3. It is always a good feeling to know when going into a movie theater or rental store that you are spending your ever dwindling money on a film that will be good, or at least Phil will...feel will...feel wheel...

If Government Is So Bad Then Why Do You Want To Run It?

This is a point that has long been made by Bill Maher (and I'm sure he made it much better than I'm about to), but if Republicans hate government so much, then why do they want to run it so bad? Ronald Reagan famously said that"Government isn't the answer, it's the problem". Mark Sanford, governor of South Carolina, has been all over the news this week saying that the government is too dumb to manage the car industry and that investments in infrastructure are unnecessary. Idiot number one, Sean Hannity, goes on and on and on every night about how dumb congressional leaders are and get's all his Republican guests to nod their heads in agreement. Well if government is so bad and spooky and evil then how come you keep asking us to put you in charge? With that kind of mindset how do you expect to get anything positive done? By being Dr No like Senator Shelby of Alabama? If it is your fundamental core belief that government is the problem, then that means it's your fundamental core belief that government has no solutions, therefore you have no solutions, therefore get the fuck out. All you ever want is less regulation, less gun laws, and lower taxes, you know that "get government out of my way" mentality. But when it comes to social issues that don't affect you, you want to stick your nose and opinions in. No gays, no civil rights, no privacy, and of course more Jesus (the angry judgemental one, not the friendly forgiving one).

And another thing that goes along with this...how come everytime someone dares question our armed forces or the mission they are on you are immediatly accused of being "unamerican" and not supporting the troops, but yet Republicans can get away with bashing the government every single day of their lives and they are "patriots" for doing so? Hell, for 6 of the last 8 years they controlled all three branches of government, ran up massive amounts of spending, while at the same time railing against government incompetency and federal spending.

They have become a party that opposes everything and stands for nothing. And like the great Republican wordsmith Aaron Tippin once said, "You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything".

How The (Mid) West Was Lost

When Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 he told an aide "We have lost the south for a generation", anticipating the backlash that would follow. Well now it's 2008 and if the Republicans continue with their opposition of the rescue plan for the big 3 auto industry, then they will loose the mid-west for a generation. The Republicans are on retreat as it is. After the last election they no longer have any House members in the north-east and are relegated to being a mainly southern party with some representation through the conservative rust belt and out west. And if they continue with their opposition to saving the auto industry, after they wholeheartedly backed the bailout of wallstreet, they'll loose the remaining few seats they have in states like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, and Indiana. And they'll loose the precious electoral votes that come with those states as well.

And God forbid they actually succedd and block the bridge loan to the auto industry and it goes kerplunk. They'll be blammed for millions of job losses and for spurring into action the catalyst that turned our recession into a full blown depression. The ads will be so simple that they'll write themselves, "Republican Congressman X gave over a trillion dollars to wallstreet fatcats but nothing to mainstreet Americans".

And not only will they be handing over the economic arguments to the Democrats but they'll be giving up the national security argument as well. Just as we are beholden to the middle east because of our need for oil, we will become beholden to south asia for their technology and cars. The battery is the new oil, and the countries that hold the technology will hold the power. Yes the big 3 have made mistakes, and yes they have to change their ways, but now is not the time to put ideals before country.

John Lennon Died 28 Years Ago Today

Photographer Allan Tannenbaum, November 26, 1980, just a few weeks before Lennon passed away. (source)

New Banner

Nathanael made a new banner for the kiddies! Brad, you've been immortalized (until we change the banner again). Congratulations!

Tonight A Star Is Born

For anyone who dares say boxing is dead, then you have not seen this man. Manny Pacquiao, the pride of the Philippines, just made "The Golden Boy" Oscar De La Hoya quit on his stool after the 8th round in what could easily be described as a mauling. In a years time "Pac Man" has moved up 4 weight classes, destroying 3 great fighters on the way, becoming the first man to do so since the great Henry Armstrong performed the feat back in 1937-38. Oscar was the far bigger man, had a 4 inch height advantage, but it was no match for Manny's speed, power, and skill. And at the start of the 5th round Oscar had a cringe of fear on his face as his eye was swelling shut and he knew his carer was going down in one of the biggest upsets the sport has ever seen. So turn on your Sportscenter in the morning and tune into HBO next Saturday for the replay of the fight, because after tonight "Pac Man" is a legend.

Blogama: The Weekly You Tube Address

Blogama: On-Deck

"...before I arrived in President, during I arrived in President."

"And the President ends up carrying a lot of people's grief in his soul during a presidency."

"I think it was a repudiation of Republicans"

"Remember, I was the guy in 2000 who campaigned for change."

READ THE TRANSCRIPT

(you're definitely gonna watch that video on the first page, about the do-over)

Did anyone see W.? I did, real interesting feels about W. now at this point.

New York I Love You (but your bringing me down)

So I'm not sure if anyone here besides me picked up last year's fantastic LCD Soundsystem record "Sounds of Silver" but if not I'd highly recommend it (especially if you can find it on vinyl). The main brain behind the band (James Murphy) is known as having "the best record collection in all of music", and he puts it to show making tunes that range from Prince to VU to Can in sound. But at the end of it is this fantatic little piano ballad. Best song I've seen Kermit lypsing since him and Fozzie teamed up for Rainbow Connection.

Holly Relevancy Grammy's!

Call me crazy but this year's line up of Grammy nominees is quite impressive. And who leads the pack for most nominations you may ask? Lil fucking Weezy with 8 nominations for his record That Carter III! How awesome will it be watching him and his tatted up face walking up on stage all night long. Get your 7 second delay ready. Not only that but there's Radiohead, My Morning Jacket, Kings of Leon, The Boss, MIA, Gnarls Barkley, Daft Punk, Kanye West, Neil Young, The Raconteurs, Beck, Al Green, John Legend, Nas, Brooks & Dunn, George Strait, and a Louvin brother (Seger will be happy with that one). Bout time these award shows started recognizing talent. Now I'm just hoping that they'll go that next step and book some of this talent to perform on the show.

Myspace Suicide

Look on the bright side, Myspace suicide!!! I just deleted my Myspace account (though I was told it could take 48 hours to take effect). Does that mean I'm in myspace purgatory? I hadn't logged into my account in over a month, and missed it little. I started seeing it more as liability than anything else. I wonder how many people/strangers stumbled upon my page, and read what I was about? I'd much rather someone stumble upon this blog, than my retarded myspace page full of what bands I like, cool pics of me, and my astrological sign... I don't know, maybe I'm just getting older, and having my computer remind me I have 179 friends just isn't as appealing as it used to be... Or maybe I am just tired of Rupert Murdock and his evil empire, I want nothing to do with it. I'm sure you know, that old bastard owns Myspace. Rupert's biographer was recently quoted saying:

"...I think it is--if you’re on MySpace now, you’re a [expletive] cretin. And you’re not only a [expletive] cretin, but you’re poor. Nobody who has beyond an 8th grade level of education is on MySpace. It is for backwards people." (source)

Hahaha! Plus everyone knows Facebook is waaaaay better. See you there!

Presidents, Pirates, & Postcards From Hell

In America, Barack Obama comes right before Miley Cyrus but after the World Wrestling Entertainment. A new breakthough connection between President John Fitzgerald Kennedy and Lee Harvey Oswald has been discovered...[read more] I'm sure the Warren Commission is already on it!

Apparently pirates are thriving right now, particularly around Somalia. It's easy money, easy drugs, and easy women.

The Armpit Collection XII: The Rock n Roll Quartet

Led Zeppelin Song Remains the Same (full version)
The Stooges Fun House
The Rolling Stones Exile on Main Street
The Velvet Underground Loaded

These albums are pieces of a tightly wound (albeit loosely played) version of rhythm and blues based rock n roll - in my mind. This version was created when blues and country were formally being introduced to popular culture. It was cemented by Elvis Presley, climaxed in the mid sixties, exploited in the later sixties and early seventies, and of course was later changed, progressed, shit upon, however you want to see it. I love rock n roll at it's earlier forms, like earlier Armpit entry, Elvis' first RCA record, and I love other types of music that might be labeled as rock n roll, like Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon or the Boss' Born to Run, for instance. But it's that exploited period where I find just the right elements of cynicism, romanticism, classicism, any cism you can think of, for my rock n roll. There are many bands who enter popular music culture in an attempt to ride on a wave of great music, some are the wave, like Led Zeppelin or the Stones. And then bands like the Stooges and the Velvet Underground flex greater influence to later generations of musicians, yet their musical output might be placed somewhere else due to the time of their existence. The albums above all came out within a few years of each other, the height of rock n roll exploitation and change. You've got raw-driven-sex rock n roll in the Stooges, expertly-crafted-large rock n roll in Zeppelin, gritty-romantic-self produced rock n roll in the Stones, and self aware-song form experimentation-attitude rock n roll in the VU. All those adjectives are there and they most certainly are rock n roll.

Working On A Dream

I guess with the new boss comes a new single from the Boss and Goddamn what a tune it is. The whistle bridge, the sha-la-la's in the background, and Bruce crooning in his best Roy Orbison voice. New record comes out in January just a few days before Mr Obama is sworn in. Also of note is this fantastic youtube video put together.

808's & Heartbreaks, Kanye's Foray Into "Pop Art"

Heartless from kwest on Vimeo.

So I just finished listening to the new Kanye West album on Myspace and I must say that this man is beyond his time. At a time when nearly every rapper is putting out the same canned crap (I'm looking at you everyone on the radio except Lil Wayne) here comes Kanye with his self described "Pop Art" record. Firstly I must say that it's full of sadness. On a year where he lost his mom and saw his engagement come to a premature end, the man has tons of pain to share and he does so through the use of the Roland 808 drum machine, Auto-Tune, and Vocodors. It's all very skeletal feeling, I'm guessing to accentuate the bare bones raw emotion of it all. The 808 pounds out with these great tribal beats, he uses the Auto-Tune as an instrument to purposely throw notes as if he's playing keys on a synthisizer, and the Vocoder gives it all a very detatched feeling to it. If you strip out the vocals at times it sounds like a late era Joy Division record or early era New Order. But with all that said this seems like one of those records that you're either going to love it or hate it, either way though the man deserves credit for doing something that very few in the mainstream do anymore, Take a Chance. And not only is the music great but the artwork surrounding the music and the videos themselves are of top notch value. The video for "Love Lockdown" features African tribesmen dancing with two very tall female figures with drawings like the Nazca Lines on them while spaceships linger in the background, all ending with Kanye curled up in the fetal position in a white room in a direct reference to 2001: A Space Odyssey. And the video for "Heartless" which I posted above has some of the best Rotoscoping I've ever seen, right on par with the wonderful Waking Life. So love 'em or hate 'em just be thankful for him, because he's opening the doors to what's possible with pop music.

Blogama: Merch-ch-ch-ch-chandiiiiiise

Obama's Merchandising Effect

Johnny Cash & Bob Dylan MP3s

This blog has collected a lot of Bobby D - Johnny C duets. Worth checking out, probably. Some I'd never heard before, though Girl From North Country is still probably the best.

Free Dr. Pepper! Thanks, Axl!

LOS ANGELES – Dr Pepper is making good on its promise of free soda now that the release of Guns N' Roses' "Chinese Democracy" is a reality.

The soft-drink maker said in March that it would give a free soda to everyone in America if the album dropped in 2008. "Chinese Democracy," infamously delayed since recording began in 1994, goes on sale Sunday.

"We never thought this day would come," Tony Jacobs, Dr Pepper's vice president of marketing, said in a statement. "But now that it's here, all we can say is: The Dr Pepper's on us."

Beginning Sunday at 12:01 a.m., coupons for a free 20-ounce soda will be available for 24 hours on Dr Pepper's Web site. They'll be honored until Feb. 28.

(source)

I Don't Believe In The Entertainment Section

John's Jesus comments have been forgiven by the holy people.  It seems like a cheap way to make a buck, but I suppose it has always been that way. [article] 

The Resurrection of Professional Wrestling, Special Thanks High Def and Mickey Rourke

So I'm not sure if anyone's been paying attention, but over the last two years professional wrestling has finally returned to glory. They've hired veterans like Dusty Rhodes and Michael P.S. Hayes as writers, they've brought in guys like Arn Anderson and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat to work with the younger guys on their matches, and they've used the medium of High Definition to bring professional wrestling back to what it should be, Full Contact Art. And now with Darren Aronofsky's new film "The Wrestler"I feel that some of the pain and glory of the sport will finally get the spotlight it deserves.

Somewhere in the late 90's amidst all the pyro and big ratings Vince McMahon took wrestling into entertainment and in the switch he forgot to bring the wrestling. The matches became more scripted instead of letting the wrestlers "work" the matches themselves. The fan interaction aspect was lost as wrestlers only focused on the cameras and not the crowd. And the full on contact of the sport was taken away some. But while his product was loosing it's roots, out on the independent circuits the true art of the sport was not lost, and that's what I feel "The Wrestler" is aiming to bring to light.

You see you can't "fake" a punch in a VFW hall in front of 45 people, you have to actually hit them. You can't let your wrestlers take it easy in order to prolong their careers. And you can't get a crowd into a match without the art of story telling. I've known guys like Mickey Rourke's character in this movie and they are the lifeblood of the sport, sort of like orators passing on the tradition of a once fine craft. They drive to a school gymnasium, get beaten from pillar to post all for 20 dollars and the roar of the crowd, then limp to their cars after the match and pull their broken bodies out of bed to head to work in the morning. These are the guys whose last words before heading out the curtain are "let's make it look real" and a silent prayer. And it is in this tradition that the finest this sport have ever known have come from. The Ric Flair's, the Steve Austin's, the Mick Foley's, they all got their start in this kind of life, and it's why they were such experts at their craft and have such respect for the business. They understood and never forgot how special the intimacy of it all is.

But with the miracle of High Definition the intimacy has come back. The camera angles are now so close, and the pictures are so sharp that there is no choice but to up the contact and take wrestling back to how it used to be, and Vince realized this. So now when you tune in you see the sweat fly from someone being punched in the face, you see the red on someones back when they take a forearm, and you can hear the sound of bone on flesh as these finely tuned athletes beat the wholly hell out of one another. Professional wrestling is back and I couldn't be happier. And with this new film I feel that it's finally going to get the recognition it deserves.

When The Boss sings in the title track that "My only faith's in the broken bones and bruises I display", he tells the story not only of Randy "The Ram" Robinson, but of the thousands of wrestlers like him. It's about time their story was told, and in this age of wrestling on the resurgence, Rourke, Aronofsky, and Springsteen couldn't have picked a better time.

Thank You Governor Palin!

Yes, unfortunately this IS real.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Here's the scene. Sarah Palin shows up to "pardon" a turkey in honor of Thanksgiving and invites all the news crews to watch. The rest is just Pure Palin!


By the way, is it just me or does she always speak in a constant run on sentence filled with far too many commas?

Man tries to pay bill with spider drawing

Below is the beginning of an email conversation that Adelaide, Australia man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill. Click the link below for full story.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

CONTINUE READING

House Negroes, Muslim President, and Violent Gay Fascists

In a 48 hour span I've seen Al-Qaida's number 2 in command call Mr. Obama a "House Negro", I've seen a Christian Pastor go on CNN to defend his belief that Mr. Obama is truly a Muslim, and I've heard Newt Gingrich's fat ass say that "there is a gay and secular fascism in this country" and that they are "prepared to use violence". And these are supposed to be the men of faith in this world?

Happy Birthday Mickey!

Mickey Mouse, the star of the first sound cartoon, turns 80 today! He has been through a lot, living through the Depression, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, Terminator, 9/11, and even a heavy acid period.

Mickey has always made us smile and we can not forget about that awesome club of his. Perhaps Mickey deserves more credit for today's popular music. Happy Birthday Mickey Mouse-DONALD DUCK!

An American Tale

I read this article in Portfolio magazine. Dov Charney is the founder and CEO of American Apparel, well known for their kinky ads and "Made in America" clothing brand:

He continues, “Of course our clothing is intimate.” Then he switches briefly to his Québécois French. “Les intimes. It’s leisure. It’s intimacy. It’s a cold night, and you cuddle up with a blanket in your panties. You ever put on a pair of pants that made you look good, Claire?” he asks.

“Yes,” I tell him. “The pair I’m wearing right now.”

“See!” he shouts victoriously. “That’s what a beautiful, intelligent woman wants, to go to dinner in a pair of pants that makes her look good. She’s on top of the fucking world. That’s what it’s all about. The pants! The pants! That’s all a beautiful woman wants! A pair of pants that takes her into a restaurant. She looks beautiful. She looks intelligent! She’s got a pair of pants! She’s on top of the world—and it’s the pants, the pants!”

Boogie Man

By chance I caught the television debut of "Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story" on MPT last night. Now, granted I am probably by far the youngest contributor to this blog, I had never heard of Lee Atwater (pictured above right) before. The reason I was immediately fascinated by this documentary, besides its use of that awesome grainy 80's television, was that it deals with the Bush legacy and presidential campaigning in general. Atwater was a lover of blues music and befriended, even recorded with many famous blues and R & B artists. He was also the dirty political strategist and mastermind behind George H. W. Bush's 1988 campaign, and Karl Rove's idol. He changed the way campaigns our ran and they will forever be negative because of him. In a sudden turn of events during March of 1990, while seemingly on top of the world, Atwater was diagnosed with a brain tumor that rapidly led to his demise. Had he lived, Bill Clinton may have never become our president. This is a film about a man who achieved his goals at the expense of his opposition and later regretted it.

New Bruce By January

From the pages of pitchforkmedia.com...

"Workin on a Dream" was first heard by attendees of an Obama rally in Cleveland the weekend before the election. Billboard.com reports that the song will be included on a new Springsteen album, which will come out on Columbia in January, just in time for Obama's inaguration.

Blogama: Gettin' Safe Wit' It

Obama is bulletproof. The bulletproof glass was not visible to the millions of people worldwide watching his speech on TV. So it was no surprise that Barack Obama's victory speech was delivered from behind two-inch thick bullet proof glass?

The Story

"It's About This Big"

It was a historical meeting today in the White House between what will be the United State's first black/white president and the sitting president, W, who is not the most favorable with the people these days. Hopefully today was even more awkward than their first meeting.

The Armpit Collection XI: Triple Play

Decisions, decisions. Gotta take some Dylan with me and seeing how he's got 30 or 40 records, it's tough to decide which have meant the most to me. When choosing from a large catalog, I figure I'd like to cover as much "area" as possible. The first disc of Live 1966 and the original version of "Tangled Up in Blue" are where my Dylan journey began, "Love & Theft" came much later, after I'd understood what it appears Dylan is doing as an artist.

The acoustic side of Dylan was originally what I grabbed onto. Before the 1966 tour, Dylan not only had 4 incredible acoustic records, but 3 ground-breaking rock n roll records. Live 1966 sums this up for me. The acoustic side is lethal, so disciplined with a tremendous edge. I always think about a quote from Allen Ginsberg where he was referencing Dylan's ability and awareness of controlling his own voice..."he was at one with his own breath." When you watch clips of him performing acoustically live around the time, the theaters are all completely silent and his voice and guitar are haunting, serving each other and the songs. His harmonica added a level of harmony and tone that is hypnotizing. The second disc of Live 1966 is the climax of rock n roll music. Historically speaking, 1966 was a great year for pop and rock music, they collided. Given the Beatles' output and lack of touring, the Beach Boys' synthesis, the psychedelic rock movement, the ascension of other, newer, more straight forward rock n roll acts, and the explosion of popular music in general, I feel Dylan's tour, band, and music basically represent the climax and preview of rock n roll music - a road sign at the fork in the road if you will.

The three days in 1974 that Bob Dylan recorded Blood on the Tracks should be popularly associated with that album. Instead, half of the songs were re-recorded into the album we know. That album is still amazing, but I feel the original session represents Dylan as an ideal of what we know as the 'singer-songwriter.' This moniker took many faces in the late 60's, early 70's, most of whom were heavily influenced by Dylan and his earlier work. The original BOTT is Dylan-solidity of that ideal, contemporary and substantial.

Dylan recorded some great rock n roll albums and ultimately he is best as a songwriter or song composer - encompassing lyrics, melody, arrangements, instrumentation, excecution - in an academic way. He made some great rock n roll records in the mid sixties, some of which I believe to be the greatest records of all time. He also dabbled in other forms of American music in the later sixties, seventies, and eighties. By the mid nineties, I think he'd reached a point where he knew how to record himself, remain entirely interesting and progress his output to a new level, I guess a level that is now referred to as Americana. Dylan though, takes this form of music to an ideal place. A place where sounds and sayings are familiar, they serve as a gathering and molding of American musical and literary history into "popular song." "Love & Theft" defines this version of Dylan. It spans a gamut of song form while remaining an album with a singular voice or sound. He continues to mold and explore this form in other albums, as well as his radio show.

Sports In Plain Site

Obama plays basketball!

McCain plays basketball!

Good game girl!

*Honorable Mention: Since 1936, my squad, the Washington Redskins, have predicted 18/19 presdential election winners

Bill Maher talking to Larry King on Tuesday:

King: Is Karl Rovism dead?

Maher: Never. Negative campaigning, mudslinging, tearing people down -- that will always be in vogue. McCain did make a classy speech last night. But, you know, they all make a classy speech when they lose. What else can you do?

And it does ring a little less true when only a day before you're calling the guy a socialist, a communist, a terrorist, anti-Semitic, anti-American.

Oh, we lost? He's a great guy. Forget what I said yesterday. Let's all get behind the guy I just said was a communist. Please.

(continue reading)

Red states, blue states, purple states

We're all familiar with this map from election night. Looking at it, you could get the impression that despite Barack's 6% lead in the popular vote the country is pretty evenly divided between reds and blues.

But check out these maps from Mark Newman at the Department of Physics and Center for the Study of Complex Systems, University of Michigan.



You get a different impression from this map, a cartogram, that shows each state weighted by population, ie they "are drawn with size proportional not to their acreage but to the number of their inhabitants, states with more people appearing larger than states with fewer." It still seems, though, that despite victories in Virginia and North Carolina the country is still very divided -- especially along Civil War-style North vs. South lines. Well, check out THIS map:



This map has used red and blue for counties in which more than 70% of the residents voted one way, but for all the counties where the vote was a little closer, they've used a representative shade of purple. Make this country seem a lot cooler, if you ask me.

Obama's Dream Team

The New York Times is doing a series of articles on "The New Team" -- those people expected to be a part of Obama's new administration. Two major highlights so far:

John Podesta:
Co-chairman of Mr. Obama’s transition team

Is apparently obsessed with "U.F.O.’s and devoted to The X-Files." "If anyone knows the truth about Roswell, N.M., it’s Mr. Podesta. He is said to be the only White House chief of staff ever to appear on the Sci Fi Channel."

Sounds like a pretty cool guy, but even cooler is...

Rahm Emanuel:
Being considered for White House chief of staff

"He earned the nickname Rahmbo for his determination and take-no-prisoners approach."

Underwent extensive "training as a ballet dancer."

"His brother Ari Emanuel, a Hollywood agent, is the model for the abrasive agent Ari Gold in the HBO series Entourage."

But most awesome of all:

"In his youth, Mr. Emanuel badly cut a finger on a meat slicer while working at an Arby’s. The wound became infected, and he lost half of the middle finger on his right hand. The shortened digit is something of a trademark."

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

The Most Important Halloween of Our Lifetimes

Simple instructions for constructing a Fat Unicorn costume for Halloween or another event

You've decided to be a Fat Unicorn for Halloween; a commendable and popular choice. After searching several costume shops, however, you find unicorn costumes to be in short supply, poorly-executed when available, and/or not fitting with your mental image of a fantastical yet obese mono-horned pony. Don't worry: it is both easy and economical to create your own Fat Unicorn costume using easy-to-find materials.

Equipment:

large white turtleneck
pair of white stretch pants, 1 - 2 sizes too large
thermal underwear bottoms, standard size
2 standard-size pillows
skein of pink yarn
small foam cone (as used for flower arranging)
18" x 24" sheet of silver metallic contact paper
3' length of white feathered garland (w/ tinsel if avalaible)
small can of spray glitter, silver
approx. 1' of elastic cord
white du rag (aka tie down cap)
razor blade
duct tape

The most time-consuming part of building a Fat Unicorn costume is creating the mane and tail, so I would recommend starting with these. For the tail, first use a piece of the pink yarn to determine your desired tail length. Three feet should be more than enough. Using several empty cardboard cereal boxes stacked inside of each other or another item of similar length, unwind many lengths of pink yarn to the desire length. You should end with a loop of perhaps 4-dozen strands of pink yarn. Snip the yarn so you are left with one long length of strands. Tie a knot in the middle of this length and arrange the yarn so that it resembles the pink enchanted tail of a mythical beast. For the mane, cut many bundles of length of yarn measuring approximately 8 inches. Line these up on top of a string of yarn that is cut to the length you desire for your main. Leave a space of about an inch between each yarn bundle until the entire length of your mane's "spine" is covered in yarn "ribs". Tie these rib-like bundles around the yarn spine, so that equal lengths of yarn hang from each side. at the "front" of your mane, tie your last bundle not in the middle, but at the end, in order to give the effect of a whimsical pompadour of pink hair.

Arguably, the most important part of a Fat Unicorn costume is the horn. It is actually fairly easy to construct. Begin by separating your shiny silver contact paper from its backing material. Set your foam floral cone along the edge of the sticky-side of the paper and roll it until the cone is covered in silver paper. The paper should extend far past the cone's natural end point: this is fine, in fact it's the desired effect as it will create a large, intimidating horn rather than a short, stubby horn. Use a razor blade to trim away the excess silver paper, making sure to conserve as much paper as possible for use in hoof-making. Straighten your wire coat hanger and use it to poke a hole about 3/4" up from the base of your horn. Feed the length of elastic cord through this hole. Try your horn on to make sure it sits flat, but do not tie the cord in the back yet.

At this point, you should be thinking about sparkles. Canonically, unicorns are perhaps the sparkliest of all creatures. Use spray glitter to coat your mane, tail, turtleneck and stretch pants with as much glitter as will stick. Make sure to do this in a well-ventilated area. I recommend the courtyard in front of your apartment building, though make sure to do this quickly as it will sound like you are using spray paint to graffiti the building and you could attract unwanted attention. Hold the can at least 8 inches from the material.

The preparation is done: now it's time to start getting dressed. Put on your thermal underwear bottoms. Now, place a standard size bed pillow under the front of your shirt. It may be neccessary to wear a t-shirt to cut down on skin irritation (I recommend a white t-shirt, as other colors may show through). The pillow should ride as high as possible so that top corners of the rectangle align approximately with your shoulders and yet sit low enough that when tucked into the pants the pillow will create a realistic "FUPA" effect. Next, take the second pillow and tuck the four corners towards the middle as best as possible. You will be inserting this pillow into the seat of your thermal underwear bottoms. Again, it is strongly recommended that you wear a white pair of underwear underneath your longjohns. Adjust as needed to create the appearance of a fat ass. Tuck your tail into the wasteband of your stretch pants. Make sure your shirt sits on top of the pants, do not tuck in. This will help to keep your tail in place.

For hoofs, cut two thin rectangles from a length of the silver contact paper. These should wrap like bracelets around the wrists of your turtleneck. Use two thicker rectangles around the shins of your stretch pants. When you're getting dressed, have a friend tie off the feathered garland around the top of your "hooves" to create the effect of fur.

Use the du rag as a makeshift bald cap, hiding your hair underneath it as best you can. Leave it tied loosely in the back until after you've fed your mane through the back, then tighten it. Use a loop of duct tape to hold the pink "bangs" at the front of your mane in place against the crown of your head. Finally, tie the horn so it rests just above your eyebrows, but below the front-most bangs. The elastic string will also help to keep your mane in place. I prefer a free-floating mane, but it would also be possible to use loops of duct tape to affix the "spine" of the mane to the "spine" of your back.

Congratulations! You've completed your Fat Unicorn costume! Make sure to take notice of the length of your horn as it could be an issue when trying to open closed doors or move close to a sink in order to wash your hands.

The Autopsy

So now that the good guys have won and all is well in the world, now we get the fun of the post election autopsy. Well Newsweek has put together a Special Election Project whereas reporters are allowed to gather behind the scenes information on the candidates with the agreement that none of it will be released until after the election. Well in that information that's beginning to drip out is this bit below about President Barack Obama on global warming and debates. I love the way this man thinks!

-The debates unnerved both candidates. When he was preparing for the Democratic primary debates, Obama was recorded saying, "I don't consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, 'You know, this is a stupid question, but let me ... answer it.' So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I f---ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective'."

Blogama: Hitting 'rack 'bama

Great Speech

Where Were You When Obama was Elected?

Good Morning, America! Everyone is encouraged to participate in the "comments" section of this post.

The Times They Are A-Changin'

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you

Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' whoThat it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

- Bob Dylan, 1963