Monday, June 30, 2008

Modern Eccentrics

One of my favorite things about livinging in New York City is the shear amount of crazy people walking amongst us. Here's a list of things that sometimes pop in my head while walking down the street: "Why is he yelling?" "Wow, I've never seen that before." "Are you kidding me?" "JESUS!" "That's incredible!" (you get the point)

My favorite blog (besides this one, obvs), Gawker, took the pleasure of listing their Modern Eccentrics: The Top 50. I haven't seen or heard of a lot of these people, but I'm sure they're legit weirdos doing their thing in New York City... and more power to 'em. A sample:

#3. He-Man
brawny man who walks the city shirtless, often in military-style cargo pants and a black choker.
More at Find He-Man.

I admire their dedication to character, and their total lack of giving a fuck. I mean, why look like a total weirdo in public? Just to get stared at? Why not?!?!

If you could spend some full-time commitment being an eccentric, what kinda eccentric would you want to be?

Anxious in America - NYT Op-Ed


If the old saying — that “as General Motors goes, so goes America” — is true, then folks, we’re in a lot of trouble. General Motors’s stock-market value now stands at just $6.47 billion, compared with Toyota’s $162.6 billion. On top of it, G.M. shares sank to a 34-year low last week.

That’s us. We’re at a 34-year low. And digging out of this hole is what the next election has to be about and is going to be about — even if it is interrupted by a terrorist attack or an outbreak of war or peace in Iraq. We need nation-building at home, and we cannot wait another year to get started. Vote for the candidate who you think will do that best. Nothing else matters.

The Chief Justice and Dylan

The last chief justice liked light opera. The new one cites Bob Dylan.

Four pages into his dissent on Monday in an achingly boring dispute between pay phone companies and long distance carriers, John G. Roberts Jr., the chief justice of the United States, put a song lyric where the citation to precedent usually goes.

“The absence of any right to the substantive recovery means that respondents cannot benefit from the judgment they seek and thus lack Article III standing,” Chief Justice Roberts wrote. “ ‘When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.’ Bob Dylan, Like a Rolling Stone, on Highway 61 Revisited (Columbia Records 1965).”

Alex B. Long, a law professor at the University of Tennessee and perhaps the nation’s leading authority on the citation of popular music in judicial opinions, said this was almost certainly the first use of a rock lyric to buttress a legal proposition in a Supreme Court decision. “It’s a landmark opinion,” Professor Long said.

[source]

Sunday, June 29, 2008

I'm Voting Republican



Wow, this is some shit-talking pro-Democratic propaganda! Reminds me of Democrats stooping as low as Republicans have in recent past. Can't we all just get along? YES WE CAN!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Sky Blue Sky



So I'm over a year into Wilco's "Sky Blue Sky" and I still for the life of me can't let it go. I'd highly highly recommend it to anyone who doesn't have it. And if you can find it on vinyl more the better to you. I truly believe Wilco is the American Radiohead. They just choose to use americana as their avenue rather than brit-pop. Never the less have a listen and enjoy.

A Most Interesting Young Man

(taken from the latest issue of The American Scholar)

By Brian Doyle

In 1968, when my quiet sister was 19 years old, she spent the summer cleaning pools and painting cottages in Woodstock, New York. She worked for a man named Morty. Their unspoken agreement was that she would work as hard as she could until early afternoon at which point she was released to walk and meditate. She loved to walk, and so she came to know not only the village of Woodstock but the adjacent woods and fields, meadows and pastures, dairies and cornfields, hills and dales, ponds and dingles. She climbed Mount Tobias and Mount Ohayo. She swam in Cooper Lake and Echo Lake. She knew old storytellers and farmers in the woods in the little clusters of houses the locals called Willow and Bearsville and Zena. For all Woodstock’s subsequent misplaced fame in regards to the festival, which was actually held in nearby Bethel, it is a small village and the countryside around it remains rural, the sort of rolling hills and forestlands where deer and foxes and owls outnumber farmers and wanderers.

One time my sister was wandering along the shore of the Ashokan Reservoir, under which lie the towns of Ashton, Brodhead, and Boiceville. A young man was standing on the weir that divides the lake into upper and lower basins and they got to talking. He did most of the talking, she says, more like mumbling really, but he was a most interesting guy and this is pretty much what he said.

Been on this wall many a time and many a time pondered jumping into the lake to see the towns down below and what might be there yet, but I believe there are fish down there bigger than you and me both so I have declined to commit to leaping, he said. Where I grew up a fish bigger than a person would eat a person given the hint of a chance and while I am assured that trout do not behave in this fashion I am not willing to wager my corporeal presence even in the damaged form it has assumed at present. But those towns down there do haunt me in ways that I am trying to set to music. One morning all the steam whistles in the valley blew continually for an hour to warn residents that the floods were imminent and once the whistles ceased to wail, the waters rushed in to obliterate alleys and attics, chapels and cellars, confessionals and milking stools, lawns and lanes, the nests of birds and the dens of foxes, the beds in which children had been conceived, porches on which old men smoked, places where the sunlight came late on account of the hunch of the hills. All now silence. Think of the music that could and should be written, the pastoral opening, the wail of the whistles, the roar of the waters, the long silence at the end. Someone should compose such a piece. And the spiders and the insects who crawl upon the earth, the snakes and squirrels, what happened to them, did they rise upon the waters and make their way exhausted to shore after dark and in latter times mold stories to tell their young in the span of years yet appointed to them, or did they too end their days in the blue musics of the deep?

Good questions, said my sister.

Got any beer? asked the young man.

I don’t, said my sister.

Pleasure to meet you, miles to go before I sleep, said the young man, hopping off the weir and limping away down the shore, and the way my sister tells the story is that a couple of years later when she was in a record store in Nebraska, this was after she was a puppeteer and before she was a circus clown, she noticed the young man’s face on a record, and realized that he was, or had been, Bob Dylan, although one of her convictions, which she holds all the more firmly now that she is a Buddhist nun in a monastery near Woodstock, is that who we were is not who we are, so she does not say that she met Bob Dylan, but rather says that once she met a most interesting young man on the shore of the Ashokan Reservoir, and that they got to talking about music that might be composed about that haunted spot, and that some years later a fiddler named Jay Ungar actually did compose a lament that his wife Molly Mason titled “Ashokan Farewell,” which Ungar and Mason play now every night in summer on the shore of the reservoir when they teach fiddle classes for kids, and if you have ever heard the song, says my sister, which you should, you will get the shivers down in the blue bones of your heart, which is a good thing to have happen, all things considered.

Coast to Coast with Shahab - Update

I called Shahab's phone today to see where the hell he was exactly. If you'll remember, Shahab is my old roommate who is biking (and I'm not talking about a motorcycle) across the United States, left New York City 27 days ago. Today he's in Iowa, which means he's just crossed the Mississippi River! He said he can see where there has been flood damage from high river levels. I'm sure it's quite the sight to see.

I've spoken to him a handful of times since he left, and he's having a total blast. From his calculations he manages to put in 60-70 miles on the road a day. If money weren't an issue, I think he'd never get off that bike. From what I've heard he's been treated kindly everywhere he's gone, almost like a mini-celebrity, and he really appreciates his increased exposure to Americaness... He's been to little county fairs where people running for mayor ask him for his official endorsement and take pictures of him for their tiny Podunk weekly paper... He's basically like Forrest Gump on a bike. I'm sure his fast talkin' charm serves him well.

Of course his story is best told by him, but I felt a little update was due. Have a great weekend everybody!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Obama's Ipod


From the latest Rolling Stone...

Bob Dylan. Yo-Yo Ma. Sheryl Crow. Jay-Z. These aren't musical acts in a summer concert series: They're artists featured on Barack Obama's iPod.

"I have pretty eclectic tastes," the Democratic presidential contender said in an interview to be published in Friday's issue of Rolling Stone.

Growing up in the '70s, Obama said, he listened to the Rolling Stones, Elton John and Earth, Wind & Fire. Stevie Wonder is his musical hero from the era. The Stones' "Gimme Shelter" tops his favorites from the band.

The Illinois senator's playlist contains these musicians, along with about 30 songs from Dylan and the singer's "Blood on the Tracks" album. Jazz legends Miles Davis, John Coltrane and Charlie Parker are also in the mix.

"Actually, one of my favorites during the political season is 'Maggie's Farm,'" Obama said of one of Dylan's tracks. "It speaks to me as I listen to some of the political rhetoric."

In the song, Dylan sings about trying be himself, "but everybody wants you to be just like them."

Several musicians on Obama's iPod support his bid for the White House, including Bruce Springsteen. Earlier this month, Dylan told a British newspaper that he believes Obama is redefining politics in the United States and could deliver change to a nation in upheaval.

"I've got to say, having both Dylan and Bruce Springsteen say kind words about you is pretty remarkable," Obama said. "Those guys are icons."

Obama said he hasn't met Springsteen, but the two have talked over the phone.

"Not only do I love Bruce's music, but I just love him as a person," Obama said. "He is a guy who has never lost track of his roots, who knows who he is, who has never put on a front."

And did he address him as the Boss?

"You've got to," the candidate said.

Asked what he thought of rap, Obama said the genre has broken down barriers within the music world, though he's concerned about his daughters _ Malia, 9, and Sasha, 7 _ listening to it.

"I am troubled sometimes by the misogyny and materialism of a lot of rap lyrics," he said, "but I think the genius of the art form has shifted the culture and helped to desegregate music."

He said hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons and rappers Jay-Z and Ludacris were "great talents and great businessmen."

"It would be nice if I could have my daughters listen to their music without me worrying that they were getting bad images of themselves," he added.

Bush To Filipino President

PRESIDENT BUSH: Madam President, it is a pleasure to welcome you back to the Oval Office. We have just had a very constructive dialogue. First, I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that -- in which there's a lot of Philippine-Americans. They love America and they love their heritage. And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the -- of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House. (Laughter.)

(source)

Monday, June 23, 2008

George



Like Bo Diddley, I saw George Carlin in Jacksonville during my brief stay there. It was my first stand-up comedy show. A true lover of language, George was as articulate and funny as ever. He had to use notes for his act because it would have been next to impossible to remember his litany of jokes. It was a treat to experience him with my family on my 21st birthday. Wherever he his now, I'm sure he's rebelling against something.

Williamsburg & Philosophy

Re: Nope.



The story starts like this: I was ready for the bastard! The bastard not being the fool who made it, but rather the film itself. I've long since established my thoughts on the "filmmaker" and the various depths of confusion he so regularly engulfs himself in. To prep The Happening, I re-viewed both Unbreakable and The Village, for my memory's recollection of the two were minimal at best. Damn (for his sake), he almost had me. I've yet to see The Sixth Sense in my adult years, which would surely nail the coffin shut, and Unbreakable, well, she spoiled herself. One's second outing will allow such inevitable fault. Nice try, nonetheless. Everything Signs and on reeks of foundational flaw. A house built on sand sells an embarrassing view. He must be blind.

So on to The Blathering. Roger Ebert called it "thoughtful" because "it reminded him of some of the things that had been on his mind." Move over pillow-man (which is an oxymoronic term in itself) and read the fucking news. You wouldn't know "thoughtful" if it hit you up side the . . . well whatever, you just wouldn't know it if you deemed the world's dullest roller coaster ride "thoughtful." The film starts with 5 minutes of hyper-teen-shock, then gets straight to the intellect — a false Einstein "quote" about the food eater's dependency on the surviving abundance of bees, which in turn read like a bastardized hodge-podge of every made up what-if "fact" concerning the issue for AT LEAST 5 years now. So you know, sure, a good idea never dies, but why in the hell are we making up Einstein quotes — and regurgitating ones at that? Sure enough, pulling back from the chalk board we meet the film's (on-screen) star, Mr. Wahlberg, who appears to be teaching science to monkeys. Or maybe that's just as far as the film's scriptwriter made it in his own educational quest for intellect. The film then begins to steer its way through utter confusion with its ass in the air, slapping it with a horrifically sexual tone like a double-deuced, "who's bad" hoochied bimbo. The fool tends to flaunt it's naivety with a flying color or two, but here we get three or four. So, at least we know M Night is a liberal man — hardly an effective approach for such exasperating filmmaking.

I'm not sure I understood the comparisons to his supposed contemporaries. Are Will Ferrell movies really contemporaries of "thoughtful" filmmaking? Serious filmmaking? Personally I think that entire formula of Big Budgeted Blockbuster Farts For Dummies should be disbanded. It spoils a medium that a select few still overwhelmingly excel in carrying. Do you truly believe M Night does NOT see himself as a part of this distinguished class? Do you truly believe M Night deserves the weight you've lent him?

You mentioned the relationship between the content of the film itself and the social environment it was delivered to. This is by all means a significant point of interest, and perhaps essential to the code of responsibility filmmaking MUST uphold. This is also where I believe we truly disagree. For what reason would M Night, or any respectable "artist," step DOWN to speak to THESE people in such extremely elementary fashion? I think that's the point right there. I don't believe M Night has the perspective you've granted him. His insight is poorly researched and drastically UN-realized. It's token FIGHT the FIGHT for the FIGHT is worth FIGHTING for. It's a wide-eyed yearn for enlightenment, the fruits of a process M Night simply does not understand. His sheer lack of taste is insulting.

Muxtape Madness

You didn't ask for it, but you didn't have to. There's a new muxtape.
- Sad when true, but this version is one hell of a ride
- Guilty pleasure, Elton John has something to do with this
- Some like it hot
- Classic Ryan Adams when he was cool to like
- Rock 'N Roll Party Time
- New R.E.M. is kinda angry for the most part
- Pheonix is basically France's answer to the Strokesesque
- Not about to see your light And if you wanna find hell with me...
- Staten Island represent! I wish I could rap for a living.
- That's pretty freaky, Bowie. Isn't it cold out in space, Bowie?
- Big Love Boogy
- This is my new favorite song. New Weezer spells out a dozen ways they know how to rock. This is Rivers' epic song of ridiculousness. I could only imagine how well this song will go over live. Nerd Alert!
Rivers (far right) kinda reminds me of Freddy Mercury in that picture.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

I'm still right.

I went and saw the Happening and once again was fully entertained by our modern suspense artist. This time though, the movie and the crowd reaction were both entertaining, as this was the first of his movies I've seen in the theater.

As most of you know, I've strongly backed the Entire catalog of M Night. Not because every movie is good or bad, but because he has a style that challenges the viewer, thus entertaining them. It's like Bob said about the tramp vomiting in the sewer. Aside from the perceived fact of the matter, I actually like all of his movies. I like them because he has an imagination, an imagination that is humorous, distorted and usually ridiculous. Humorous, distorted, ridiculous - sounds like the Family Swaggards on New Years Eve. Imagination to me isn't, "so then these guys start a fraternity and haze people, but we show some tits" or "so there's this anchorman" or "so this goofy white guy plays basketball in the 70's..." You get the point. What I'm saying is the most entertaining part of the matter is seeing these people using their respective film skills to pull off this somewhat fascinating story line.

The Happening is his best. First, because he eliminates the classic naysayer argument, "he's in all of his movies." He's not, or at least I didn't see him. Second, Mark Wahlberg is the man and will remain an M Night staple for the future. He's a master at delivering the supposed-to-be-cheesy dialog that is often scattered throughout M Night's work. He does this with the classic Wahlberg seriousness that's funny. Third, this movie's story line takes his usually weird story lines to a new level of simplicity, while keeping it current and humorous. Current meaning applicable to today's social environment and humorous - think Tarantino-ish gore.

When the movie was over, which was abruptly brought upon us - surprise surprise sweet bird of paradise, people didn't know what to think, so in classic American fashion, they started cussing. I heard, "I want my money back" in a slow sheeplike succession. Now I admit that I have great respect for the underdog, so sure there's some bias here, but fuck you. Go see it and be entertained. Think about how retard other current big box office filmmakers make people, particularly the comedy ones, and how much cooler and more laughable M Night's catalog is. Laughable not in a this-is-funny-cause-it's-bad, laughable in a this-is-so-much-more-interesting-than-his-contemporaries way.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Same Time, Same Place . . .

Just the other day, walking the street and about to cross, a small car of what appeared to be a father and two sons stopped to wave me through while delaying traffic. Familiar with situations such as these, I've learned to promote a seamless traffic pattern not dependent or catered to the travels I take on foot. Although much appreciative of the gesture itself, I frantically waved them through with a sturdy belief in the greater perspective I've envisioned for both participating parties and the general well-being of the community at large. We are all strangers in pursuit of a particular creed and this, by all means, is weekday traffic. An act of excessive, or even common generosity will only thorn this track and is better left for a Sunday's stroll. Regardless of my intent, which is indeed irrelevant to the governing of momentary action, I continued to wave them through yet again in response to their extended hesitation.

They laid on the horn. It appeared the gift upon return had gotten the best of their intentions. By the time I vocally motioned them forward with a fairly aggressive urgency, I was sure the public image of my own self had been drastically misinterpreted. Perhaps I had been deemed unappreciative of their intended good will, or speculative of the personal and/or cultural insecurities they may or may not have had, something I would have been unfit to perceive by this time. Perhaps the sight of my potential crossing was never taken graciously in the first place. Perhaps a pre-maturely bigoted assessment had already spoiled the lucrative communicative process I'd naturally tend to expect.

Sure enough, not a moment shy, they stepped on the gas to avoid any more self-inflicted embarrassment. I could see the prospected father in the driver's seat heatedly mumble something vulgar, violently directed my way. On the passenger's side, and closest to me, sat the boy who appeared to be the man's son. By the time of my direct passing, he looked at me in the eye and sturdily flicked me off. Clinched beneath his two front teeth was his bottom lip, pulsating with pent youth and undisclosed anger. I could see a child under pressure, frustrated with an emotion he may or may not have felt obligated to pursue. I could see that he knew of Guilt and feared the extent of it's pride. He was in tune with the tension of exercise and the dislocation of adolescence. He was not proud of his Cheap Shot, nor of the fence he had been forced to walk. To his left was a man he knew very well. To his right was one he did not. — Jack Straight, 2008

The Two Obamas - NYT Op-Ed


"I have to admit, I’m ambivalent watching all this. On the one hand, Obama did sell out the primary cause of his professional life (campaign-finance reform), all for a tiny political advantage. If he’ll sell that out, what won’t he sell out? On the other hand, global affairs ain’t beanbag. If we’re going to have a president who is going to go toe to toe with the likes of Vladimir Putin, maybe it is better that he should have a ruthlessly opportunist Fast Eddie Obama lurking inside.

All I know for sure is that this guy is no liberal goo-goo. Republicans keep calling him naïve. But naïve is the last word I’d use to describe Barack Obama. He’s the most effectively political creature we’ve seen in decades. Even Bill Clinton wasn’t smart enough to succeed in politics by pretending to renounce politics."

Girl Talk


So I've just come across this incredible little piece of pop culture smashed together. It's Girl Talk's "Feed The Animals". It's all these great pieces of pop culture smashed together. Whether it be from R&B, brit pop, indie, pop, new wave, whatever, if it fits then it's in. And not sampled in the usual mash up way, it's like taking the parts from 6 songs to make a verse of a song. For example, in one song it's gone from 'Paranoid Android' with Jay Z rapping over it, to the keyboard part of 'These Eyes' by The Guess Who which leads to Grandmaster Flash, topped off by 'Come On Eileen' and some Doug E Fresh. There's over 300 samples on this thing, and half the fun is just picking out the different tunes. But it's got me really curious onto whether this is music or art or both or neither. Part of me wants to say that it's just putting a bunch of songs together, but then the other part of me thinks it's a harnessing of pop culture in a patchwork sorta way, like little pieces of radio woven together. But whatever the case it sure is damn entertaining!

Oh and did I mention, the best part is it's pay what you want, ala Radiohead. Click here and enjoy...

If It Keep on Raining, The Levee's Gonna Break

"Well, you know right now America is in a state of upheaval. Poverty is demoralizing. You can't expect people to have the virtue of purity when they are poor," Dylan is quoted as saying.

"But we've got this guy out there now who is redefining the nature of politics from the ground up . . . Barack Obama," he was quoted as saying. "He's redefining what a politician is, so we'll have to see how things play out. Am I hopeful? Yes, I'm hopeful that things might change. Some things are going to have to."

[source]

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Butterfly

Yesterday I went outside
With my mama's mason jar,
Caught a lovely butterfly
When I woke up today
Looked in on my fairy pet
She had withered all away
No more sighing in the breast

I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The ghost slips away

Smell you on my hands for days
I can't wash away your scent
If I'm a dog then you're a bitch
I guess you're as real as me
Maybe I can live with that
Maybe I need fantasy
Life of chasing butterfly

I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The ghost slips away

I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain't never coming back
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

- Rivers Cuomo, Weezer "Pinkerton"

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Product As Art


So I just picked up Coldplay's new "Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends" and I must say I think it's really good. But I've been reading some reviews on it and came across this little snippet about pop music as art. Thought I'd share.

"Eno let the lovely Londoners believe they were making classic art-rock when, in fact, his intention was to make shiny new product. Product as art, that is: Eno's always muddied the distinction between the two, wearing the mask of a "non-musician" to better avoid traditionalist traps and coining the term "ambient" to refer to music that has effect even while you're ignoring it.

That kind of music, which shares many qualities with Coldplay's current offering, also has been called "mood" or "background" or even "advertising jingle." But Eno, who values the effect of creative work over its makers' original intent, wouldn't go for such prejudicial terms. The sleekly nonspecific quality of "La Vida" -- it's full of evocations without settling on any one reference point -- lends power to Martin's lyrics, making them seem more like common wisdom than clichés.

You can just see Coldplay and Eno in the studio, the musicians happily borrowing ideas from avant-popsters like My Bloody Valentine and Arcade Fire, and Eno, smiling, making it all sound like what you hear in a really great car commercial."

Foot Fetish Frenzy



For all you feet lovers out there...

Monday, June 16, 2008

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I'm famous part 2


Tara & I at the Frederick Shopping Center Grand Re-Opening. We're featured around the 2:08 minute mark.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Sweet Thirteen


I just finished watching a great documentary on Roman Polanski entitled, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. It was a fascinating look into the media obsession with Polanski’s trial for engaging in sex with an underage, inspiring actress in the 1970’s. What’s even more interesting is the look into the courtroom proceedings and the seedy actions of the case judge who manipulated every part of the trial in the glowing glare of the media spotlight.

Check the film out on HBO, and, if you didn’t know, after the murder of his wife Sharon Tate by members of the Manson Family and his rape trial, Polanski fled to France where he is living a fine life in Paris. In 1998 he was inducted into the prestigious Académie des Beaux-Arts for his films such as Rosemary’s Baby, Chinatown, and The Pianist. If he comes back to the states he will be immediately sent to prison.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Fuck Communism . . .




. . . from a time when those two words would actually compete for the greater evil, a wealthy archiving of "the realist" can be found here.

Tim Russert (1950-2008)


The greatest interviewer of our time, Tim Russert, has just died of a heart attack at the NBC News Bureau in Washington, D.C. Don't really know the words to say at this moment as I'm pretty choked up but we've just lost one of the finest news people this countries ever known. In the words of Tim Russert, "To be continued...".

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Best of Me

Inspired by Matt's muxing, I wanted to make a digital mix tape of my own. Unfortunately, I don't have the mp3s for these, so this is more of an annotated link list than a mix tape. What follows is a highly-conceptual, audiobiographical, memoir of a playlist featuring my favorite song from every era of my life so far. Sort of a reverse "Best Of" in semi-chronological order. I don't know why anyone would care about this, but I thought it was a good idea for me to have this all written down somewhere. Maybe you all should write yours down, too. We're starting, I guess, some time in 1986? I'm maybe 3 years old, tops.

The Bangles - Walk Like an Egyptian
My older sister owned the record. I would sing along to what I thought was the chorus: "Walk like a magician." I got indignant and embarassed after someone tried to correct me. The first song I remember ever playing in my house.

Bobby 'Boris' Pickett & The Cryptkickers - The Monster Mash
On the B-side of a cassette of Halloween sound effects. I'd listen mostly to the full ninety-minutes of clanking chains and howling wolves, but then I'd turn the tape over and listen to the songs. Also featured were "Purple People Eater" and the Ghostbusters theme. This song is probably why Oldies 106.9 was the most-played preset station in my Mercury Topaz over a decade later.

Barry Louis Polisar - Don't Put Your Finger Up Your Nose
First album I ever owned. Literally played it until the tape wore out. I remember learning that the button on my dad's stereo that would make the tape play was the one with the arrow pointing towards the bathroom. Sample lyric: "Don't put your finger up your nose / Because your nose knows it's not the place it goes." Googling him, I found out that Barry wrote the song that plays during the opening credits of the film "Juno". This means that at age 5 my taste in music is at its "Indie"-est.

Paul Simon - You Can Call Me Al
To this day, I can sing every lyric of every song on the Graceland album, probably even the ones Ladysmith Black Mambazo sing in Swahili. The album played constantly in my parents' gray minivan and when the Graceland tour came to Hershey Park, it was the first concert I ever attended. I fell asleep, but my parents woke me up for this song. Best lyric to sing-along to as a kid and today: "He ducked back down the alley / With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl."

Tim McGraw - Indian Outlaw / Garth Brooks - Ain't Goin Down
The two tentpoles of my time as a country boy in the back of the new red minivan. I still say that Garth Brooks is one of the greatest American songwriters of all time. As someone once said, he's like "Led Zeppelin with a big belt buckle; Aerosmith with a can of Skoal". Tim McGraw, not so much, but he had some ridiculously punny redneck lyrics that, at 13, I thought were hilarious. "Indian Outlaw" narrowly beat out "I Like It, I Love It (I Want Some More of It)" for inclusion.

Green Jelly - Three Little Pigs
I guess it was really the music video that struck me more than the song, but this is one of the only songs I can remember enjoying in my middle school days. The hardest metal song I have ever liked.

Cake - Sheep Go To Heaven
I didn't like music in middle school. I would watch MTV in the mornings before school some days, but would just as often watch Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (not because I liked it! because it was funny! I think!) A friend giving me a ride home from high school freshman year was the first one to play this song for me. I downloaded Napster to find more Cake and they paved the way for Harvey Danger's Flagpole Sitta and the other terribly embarrassing songs I listened to throughout high school.

Dolly Parton - White Limozeen
I don't remember whether I liked this song ironically or because I thought it was genuinely entertaining, but when I saw Dolly Parton kinda-rapping on a Comedy Central airing of an old SNL, I knew that I was seeing something special. If I was picking my favorite Dolly Parton song, it would definitely be "Islands in the Stream", but this song is so much cooler because it's so much weirder.

Bruce Springsteen - The Rising
Matt's influence on both my ears and lungs starts here. Back in the minivan, the parents had a Best Of Bruce something or other in their binder of scratched CDs that I never really got into. It sounds lame, maybe, but hearing this song, this whole album, after 9/11 was my first indication that there was something to music other than just having fun. The first song to make me cry. Can still make me cry. The day Matt accidentally snapped his copy in half I almost cried.

Frank and Nancy Sinatra - Somethin' Stupid
Just a fun song that I found in college and really liked. Frank Sinatra saved my grandmother's life. As a young lady, she worked at a bank at the bottom of a hill. Frank was performing that evening at a theater at the top of the hill. Apparently, as he was just arriving and my grandmother was leaving work for the day, a rack full of costumes came loose from its moorings and started rolling wildy down the hill, headed straight for my grandmother. Ol' Blue Eyes sprung into action, chased the cart down and stopped it just moments before grandma got creamed. She hadn't seen the cart coming, and when she finally heard the commotion and turned around, she was so startled to see Frank Sinatra standing there that she fell over. If that laundry rack had found its mark, I might not be here today.

The Rolling Stones - Loving Cup
May be the most fun ever put on tape, but that honor could also go to any of a dozen other Stones songs that are like pure, raw joy/hate/love/sex/disco/blues/cocaine/sawdust amazingness.

Human League - Don't You Want Me
When I got my wisdom teeth out, I was prescribed percocet. Nothing on the label indicated that the pills would make me highly and irrationally emotional. Driving to a friend's house, this song came on the radio and became the second song to make me cry. Deep, deep sobs.

Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited
So I had been hanging out with J and Matt for about 3 months, enduring the nasally drip drip drip of Bob Dylan like water torture on my brow. Finally, of all the songs, it was "Buckets of Rain" that broke through and helped me to start enjoying Bob Dylan songs. I'm still not sure exactly why I like him, but I know it has something to do with the fact that he was writing and singing music that seemed like it had always been a part of the North American continent. Like he was mining it out of the earth somehow, then taking that fossil and putting a little bit of funk into it. Highway 61 Revisited is my favorite Bob Dylan song because it seems especially ancient and modern and serious and whimsical all at once and it's gotalotta boogie in it.

Lil Mama - Lip Gloss
A ridiculous, all-clapping, hand jive of a song that is sweeter than hummingbird food. Probably Barack Obama's daughters' favorite song last year, not counting the High School Musical soundtrack. Definitely my favorite song last year.

MGMT - Weekend Wars
My favorite modern song of today. MGMT is a band out of Brooklyn that makes me think of The Stones. This song makes me think of whiny-voice Mick Jagger, one of my favorite Mick Jaggers. I'm not sure what kind of staying power this band has in my mental jukebox, but for right now they're in heavy rotation.

Harry Nilsson - I Guess the Lord Must Be in New York City
This song is, I guess, one of those songs I've always known and everyone has always known, but until J recently burnt it to a disc for me I didn't really get a kick out of it the way I do now. Guy's got a beautiful voice and this is a great, breezy summer in New York song. It hits most of my softspots: poppy as shit, kinda corny, kinda country, lyrics I can understand. Like all these songs, some of which I hadn't heard in years before today: who knows how long I'll like it for, but for the time being, it's my favorite.

From the Storque @ Etsy

Sports in Plain Site

-If you’re thinking about climbing Mt. Everest, you may want to bring daddy’s little helper.
-Shaq attack saves!
-Are you tired of the same old sports?

Honarable Mention-Hulk Hogan

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

There Will Be Bud, presented by JLIKEBOB




J's still trying to figure out how to embed video, so with that said, here is "There Will Be Bud"...


by the way, my bag just went empty and this sure does make me hope I can find some soon!

Want to Know What November Will Look Like?



On the same day that John Sidney McCain III went on the Today show and said that bringing troops home from Iraq is "not too important" famed GOP strategist Floyd Brown (of Willie Horton fame) has dropped this little nugget of an ad. I fear that this is only going to get uglier.

Babies Thrown Off Tower

Last night (and I don't know how I got into it, but I mentioned to some friends) "yeah, kinda like how some Indians throw babies off buildings and shit." Anyways. They tried to deny me.

"Impossible," they told me. They thought I was joking.

"Please don't doubt me," I said with confidence. "I'm sure the YouToob's got it." Less than a minute later we're watching this:



"Babies are dropped several stories for good health and good luck at a shrine in Solapur, in Maharastra, India. I wonder if it will catch on in America, mothers throwing there new born babies off the roof of the hospital for good luck and fortune?" - text from beside the YouToob video.

I was happy that I'd got the part about them being from India right. Think of the embarrassment if they had been Pakistani! Then to address the, "wonder if it will catch on in America" comment... Um, yeah right. Don't be silly.

When watching the video, first there's a feeling of shock and amazement. So bouncy! How could those babies keep from getting hurt? That building they're throwing them from appears to be quite tall. I've also always wanted to throw babies off towers, glad to see someone's actually doing it. Wait. MAYBE IT'S FAKE.

"Of course not," I bellowed back at the shanagan-sayers. I remember seeing it on TV. At least I think I did. Several moments of heated debate continue.

Later today I receive this email:

Subject: Baby Dropping Apology
According to CNN, Indian baby dropping is REAL:
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/01/babies.tower/

There's just some things you never forget.

RADICAL LINKS
- Poor Bennifer got caught in Ali G's storm.
- God save the Queen! Got to give it Denny K., he's always willing to go "there."
- Someone else is peeing in the Bush.

The Mix Tape That Led to Billy Stewart



So I've been working over the past few weeks to put together a great soul mixtape for a great friend of mine and I believe I've hit a rabbit hole or something because I just keep finding things that I haven't heard in years. So with that said, and in the spirit of sharing, I present you all with Billy Stewart's classic "I Do Love You".

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

McCain Vows to Veto Beer

It's the summer and I'm unemployed again, left to parlay my time between my love for alcohol, music, poetry, art, and my evil indulgence: politics.

Hearing McCain talk about the economy this morning almost made my lingering hangover feel like malignancy. Can anyone explain how someone can speak so brazenly about the state of our economy and in such simple terms that people eat it up like the dollar menu at McDonald's. If only the world were as simple as these asshole politicians make it out to be: blue, red, patriot, turncoat, liberal, conservative, white, black, wealthy, poor, and the middle (the silent majority).

Simplicity is a sin. And who is to blame for the current state of affairs in the world? The politicians are only partly to blame. It's the silent majority, the morons in the middle, who are responsible. I don't know shit about economics but I know enough not to be fooled by rhetoric, a term like "the death tax" provides a shortcut for thinking about the economy. For some, the logic goes as follows: Who wants to be taxed after death? No one. The death tax is bad. McCain says Obama is for the death tax. Obama is bad. I'm voting for McCain.

So here's who I blame, those people: those people who judge without rational, those people whose blind, thoughtless, automatic acquiescence and simpleminded patriotism allow politicians to get away with baseless wars and a trickle up economy. In the end the economy, world affairs, and real reform is way too complicated for these people because the reality of the situation requires some reading and some analytical thought. Call me an elitist, I don't want those people to vote who vote for the guy that makes them feel good or who they would like to sit down and have a beer with. I've had beers with a lot of guys at some less than respectable bars and have enjoyed my talks with the old, pickled drunks - but I don't want those guys to head the government.

I know one thing for sure. If McCain continues with his tyrannical campaign against beer I will have no choice but to get my fat ass off the couch, put down my beer, and vote for James K. Polk this year.

Because I am technologically inept, I couldn't figure out how to post the video of MCain's guffaw this morning. Just go to youtube and type in McCain vows to veto beer and you'll all see what I painstakingly witnessed this morning.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson



"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
- Hunter S. Thompson

Quote of the Day

"katy is making me watch mtv germany and trust me, it sucks."

- Anton Newcombe 6/6/08

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Viva La MTV



Tuesday can't come soon enough. I think these guys are on the brink of something. And kudos to MTV for 3 minutes of actual music television.

Couple of Musical Notes

Pretty disappointed in her attempt. I wasn't too excited about it because Tom is Tom and his tunes are somewhat deconstructed by himself anyway. For a listen, go HERE or HERE (live). The live is better than the studio. I guess the guy from TV on the Radio did the production. It's overly done (surprise, surprise).




I've been waitin' for this one for a while and I'm excited to see if he's really "got" "it." I always kind of liked the Wallflowers, but dude has such a unique quality to his voice (like dad) that he never really needed a band at all. I've heard one track and it's a little cheesy, but endearing. This comes out Tuesday.



Sorry for the delay, I guess i've been on Blogcation.

Post-Primary Wrap-Up

So we've skirted the political issues for a while now, but as a way of wrapping up primary season I thought I'd share this email exchange between myself, Matt and a friend of ours, Amanda. Matt and Amanda, as you will see, support Barack and I supported Hillary.



"matt" to me, Amanda
show details Jun 4 (1 day ago)


More and more I wish Hillary would have just bowed out gracefully last night. Instead she kept up her "fuzzy math" of claiming to have more popular votes, denying Obama the satisfaction of winning the amount of delegates needed to become the Democratic nominee. Couldn't it have been HIS night? And her reach for VP? Disgusting. Obama should never offer her the position; how on earth are we supposed to have CHANGE with a CLINTON on the ticket?




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ryan" to Matt, Amanda
Jun 4 (23 hours ago)

As Barack Obama so eloquently stated in his speech last night, Hillary
Clinton has dedicated her entire life to helping people and has, in
turn, helped him become a stronger candidate. It's cruel to say that
Hillary has denied anyone anything when she and her supporters have
worked just as hard and received nearly the same amount of votes and
pledged delegates. She and her supporters deserve the opportunity to
celebrate the historic progress they made after working so hard for 17
months. Why should last night have been any one person's night? Both
campaigns had the right to celebrate, thank their supporters, recap
their victories on the campaign trail and talk about their plans for
the future: especially in a race as close as this one was.

People have been saying for months that Hillary acts as if she were
"entitled" to the Presidency. While I don't agree, it seems that the
Obama camp are now the ones who should be wary of acting "entitled."
Entitled to a nomination that they didn't receive enough pledged
delegates to earn; entitled to the votes of the Hillary Clinton
supporters who Barack seems to look down his nose at, calls "bitter"
and implies are racist; entitled to a victory over John McCain on the
basis of his support for Bush's policies. If Barack Obama does not
begin to take Hillary's voters seriously he will not win in the
general election. Voters who value experience over novelty and wisdom
over rhetoric.

Hillary has not been "reaching" for vice president -- she has been
reaching for President. Now that that journey is over, it seems she
would be willing to accept the office of VP if it's offered, not out
of a grab for power but because that is the type of gesture it will
take to keep many of Hillary's supporters who have been maligned by
Barack Obama from abandoning the party for McCain.

As a college-educated young person living in New York City, I think
Barack Obama will do an excellent job representing my values and
beliefs in Washington, DC and I plan to support him in his race for
President. But I also understand why democrats like my Grandmom
Hillary and Uncle Rusty back home in rural Maryland would be reluctant
to vote for a man who doesn't seem to understand them. Uncle Rusty has
guns because he hunts and he wants to protect his family, not because
he's bitter or wants to keep minority troublemakers off his property
and Grandmom Hillary goes to church for the community and the social
support, not for the gay-bashing or wait-til-marriage sex sermons.
Barack goes, or went, to his church for the same good reasons --
but if Barack can't understand her reasons, then how can my grandma
be expected to understand his reasons for attending a church that
seems to endorse such extreme anti-American, anti-Hillary rhetoric?

Hillary Clinton just wants to continue doing what she's always done --
helping people who need it. Right now, Barack Obama needs it.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Amanda" to me, Matt
Jun 4 (22 hours ago)

Ryan, please don't ruin our unity with your offensively ignorant and seddenlingy impertinant rhetoric. Let it go.

If you are bored and need something political to think about, start brain-storming snacks for Friday night's party.

I will try hard to forget you ever sent this e-mail.

Thank you and si se puede.

-Amanda


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt to me, Amanda
Jun 4 (22 hours ago)


Mr. Williams,

You sound just as delusional as Hillary. I think Hillary supporters need to get off their low-horses and support THE DEMOCRAT. I honestly am not worried at all about Hillary's supporters jumping ship and voting for old man McCain. If they want to overturn Roe V Wade, continuing losing health insurance, and stay in Iraq until our dollars really aren't worth anything, then I hope they go ahead and vote against their interests - for John McCain. Each vote for McCain is a prayer for the death of America.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ryan" to Matt, Amanda
Jun 4 (21 hours ago)

You have more faith in the American people than I do. The last time they were given the choice between a war-mongering idiot with folksy values and an elitist snob running on change and new ideas they went with the war-mongerer. I am referring of course to David Cook's American Idol victory over David Archuleta.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ryan" to Amanda, Matt
Jun 4 (19 hours ago)

Ok, so far I have:

Barack-y Road Ice Cream
Barack-topus Sushi
Yes We Cranberry & Vodka on the Ba-rocks
"Grains We Can Believe In" oatmeal cookies or trail mix
Potatos au Bama
Barack O-Jamba Juice
Yes We Candied apples
Stir-fry cooked in a Ba-wok
Michelles and Cheese

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Muxtape Madness

New MUX Mr. White sounds better than ever
Two riders were approaching, but only one began to howwwlll
Bastard childs of the Jonestown Massacre
niTTy gRiTTy (peeing on the carpet)
New waving bloody murder...
more New York blood, to a disc beat
Junkies are full of excuses... and then they die
Shout out to high flying/big top skate videos
The feud started at last year's Grammy's, when Moby called Eminem ''a misogynist, a homophobe, a racist, and an anti-Semite.''
"We have got to get it together" - DEMOCRATS
Old man music take a look at my life
In honor of JBD. Welcome, my friend!

What Ever Happened to Moby Dick?


The Chase

Threadbare in coat,
heart, body, and brain;
I’ve always wished to paint
a vast canvas,
porous and infinite,
a glowing white:
the color of pain, a tall glass of milk,
the hue of bleached stains.

I’d take my
time perfecting each stroke
giving each its own name.
I imagine crying over the canvass-
bleeding to make a living
so that I could paint
in the torturous dark
a blinding white.

A chronic white
without flaw, influence, variation.
Friends lost to the time
spent.
Fighting great battles, enduring
great costs so to
paint white the world before
my staring eyes.

And even better,
after years painting bare
canvas, I would die somewhere between
the start and the finish-
leaving a large corner
an off-white:

Unfinished.

And somewhere someone would smile,
someone would cry.

The undertaker left to ponder
the life of a man
wasted,
slouching over
a vast, ancient, rolling sea
of white.

For Those Who Tried to Rock

I got an email today from a good friend of mine, Brandi, who is a book agent. She writes:
These are acquinatances of mine, publishing their 3rd book with Three Rivers Press. It's about memories from bands across the USA. Their books tend to do pretty well, and get distribution at all the B&Ns and Borders, etc all over the US.
If you want, send them a great photo and band story, name drop me (say, who used to work for CT (redacted), or who used to work for Three RIvers Press), and you've got a decent shot of getting in. Not to mention getting on the blog.
http://triedtorock.blogspot.com/2008/01/submit-your-story.html

Hey now! Whaddya say, Family Swaggards? I think given the story of the Swags, we could create a decent, entertaining eulogy for us. If you were in the band, you're greatly encouraged to comment on this post (or forever hold your peace).

Picture Post: It's The Freakiest Show edition


Sunset on Mars, captured and sent to Earth by the Mars Exploration Rover Spirit on May 19, 2005. [source]


James O'Neal has the condition neurofibromatosis, compares himself to the Elephant Man (of bones owned by Michael Jackson fame) and works at a Safeway grocery store in Kirkland, Washington. His friends and coworkers are raising money to get him reconstructive surgery. [source]

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Beyond the Horizon


Head's up! Everyone's favorite troubadour, Bobby "It Ain't Me, Babe" Dylan is coming to Brooklyn, NY (Prospect Park) on Tuesday, August 12th. I already have my ticket! Tickets officially go on sale 6/30 at noon; however, insider sources have discovered the Fan Club Internet PreSale password is: tilden

RADICAL LINKS

-here Neil Young is making an electric car, and it's only cost him $120,000 so far to make it. Given current gas prices, it should pay for itself in a matter of months.

-here Cigarettes cost more than ever in NYC. Thank goodness I gave that up!

-here Forty years ago today some crazy bitch shot Andy Warhol. The LATimes wants to make her a prophet, since men really are no longer necessary.

Solitude

I am happy to be joining what is called a "blog." For quite some time I have had, as Thoreau put it, "my own sun and moon and stars, and a little world all to myself." And while I have never found a companion that is so companionable as solitude, I am happy to contribute to something of an intellectual community.

Go Bo Diddley!

I saw Bo Diddley in Jacksonville, Florida last year with some of my family. At nearly 80 years old, Bo had everyone on their feet clapping and groovin’. One point in the show, he got up from his chair, and walked behind the drumset. He grabbed some sticks and played these impressive African/marching styled rudiments on top of his drummer's beat. The show was fun and I felt I was supposed to be there.

Up until his death, Bo Diddley was bitter about Elvis Presley getting the birthing of rock n roll credit. Truth is, Elvis ripped off Bo’s act, Buddy Holly stole his glasses, and the biggest of bands have all used his shave and a haircut to bits beat.

Who Do You Love?

Bo Diddley passed away yesterday morning at the age of 79. Before he left, he gave the world the coolest fucking song lyrics ever written.

I walked 47 miles of barbed wire,
Used a cobra snake for a neck tie.
Got a brand new house on the roadside,
Made out of rattlesnake hide.
I got a brand new chimney made on top,
Made out of human skulls.
Now come on darling let's take a little walk, tell me:

Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you love?

Arlene took me by the hand,
And said, "Ooo-eee, daddy, I understand."

Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you love?

The night was black and the night was blue,
And around the corner an ice wagon flew.
A bump was a hittin' lord and somebody screamed,
"You should have heard just what I seen!"

Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you love?

Arlene took me by my hand,
She said, "Ooo-eee, Bo, you know I understand."
I got a tombstone hand and a graveyard mind,
I lived long enough and I ain't scared of dying.

Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you love?

Monday, June 2, 2008

Little Known Fact...

I decided to put a little tracking devise on the blog (it's at the bottom) to see how many hits the site was getting, etc.

What do you think the most viewed individual post has been?

http://puttingthingsinplainsite.blogspot.com/
2008/04/racy-miley-cyrus-photo.html

Hahahahaha, perverbs!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Bon Voyage!


Today, Sunday, June 1st 2008, my good friend and old roommate, Shahab, is embarking on a most excellent adventure. He's going to ride a bicycle across the United States of America! He couldn't have picked a better country, I'll tell ya.

When I first heard he was considering this adventurous trip, I thought he was crazy. I mean, he might get eaten by a wild animal, right? What is the possibility of me getting eaten by a wild animal in the next in the next two months? Zero fucking percent... because I'm NOT biking across the country. But, I have to hand it to him, in the last couple months, Shahab has PREPARED, and is now ready to go!

I will be traveling north on route 9 this Sunday then west to Erie on route 17. I think I should get to Erie in 8 to 10 days. From there I will continue traveling west through Cleveland (maybe get there around day 10) then Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Idaho, and ending in Seattle.

If you know people along this route, I would love to meet them.
I will have my phone turned on between 10:00-11:00 a.m. and 7:00-8:00 p.m. daily if you want to talk. I will also be changing my answering machine message daily if you want to get an update on where I am. please call as often as you like and leave me messages...

Best Regards,
Shahab

Let me know if you want his phone number. I'm already planning some funny voice messages I plan on leaving him. I admire his sense of adventure, courage (I can't begin to imagine the amount of chafage he has to look forward to), and wish him the best of luck. Have a wild time and get home safe!