Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Top Five...

...Worst Footwear Choices as Dictated by Emily at some point Over the Past 5+ Years:

CINCO



Man, these were everywhere my freshman year in Alabama. I'd never seen them before that. I remember being mildly intrigued by them, but could never really understand if they'd actually stay on your feet. They gave off a "my bangs are almost in my eyes - the bottom of my cargo pants are torn a bit - this hooded sweatshirt is too tight to wear over my polo" vibe.

QUATRO



My parents became irrationally supportive of these... which resulted in a "washing the boat" and "I don't give a fuck what you think" explanation. I actually don't mind them as lawn care foot wear

TRES



Classic. Too many straps negates any sort of convenience you get in wearing sandals. Though, the idea of owning a pair of high quality handmade leather sandals is attractive.

DOS



Absolutely not. There's no aesthetic or functional reason to wear these.

UNO



There's too much to say about this phenomenon, which ironically stems out of the burgeoning philosophy that walking and running barefoot is actually better for you. (Who would have thought?) So what do people do? They design a shoe to address this theory!?!?

1 comment:

YaYaYaDonTKnowMe said...

Excellent selections. My thoughts:

5. Very Birkenstockesque. I never grasbed the appeal until I became friends with a guy who's mom was German. She didn't shave her armpits. She was also a travel agent and expressed to me that these types of shoes were cheaper in the Fatherland than here and that's why I'd want them. I never did own a pair of Birkenstocks.

4. I heard Crocs caused disease. They remind me of "Made in China."

3. I call these "Jesus shoes." Amanda has owned a pair, and it always makes me think she's on her way back from Nazareth.

2. Yes, that's garbage too, sandles you'd find at K-Mart circa 1990-2000.

1. I know some people with these. I think the jury is still out. Honestly think a better #1 would be newpaper shoes. Newspaper and rubber bands - we've all seen the look.