Homeowners Need To Sleep

[source]

"We really can't have a divided convention."

"We even said maybe it's aliens..." Thanks, Tom.

"Worthless piece of paper"

Subway graffiti will find a way.

I made another Muxtape. I put Jimi between two chicks. heh-heh.

Oops!

[source]

Devo Art Show

Anyone at all interested in going down to Brooklyn for an art show by/inspired by Devo? Here is the link to the gallery and here is the link to a site devoted to the art (of which you will be able to see in person!) of Mark Mothersbaugh.

Brooklyn, NY-The Super Thing: NYC goes DEVO at 3rd Ward is a DEVO inspired group show experience of art, adventure and music featuring 20 Postcard Diaries prints by Mark Mothersbaugh! The Super Thing art exhibition and music event is dedicated to the zealous, jerky synth-powered, midwestern heroes of DEVO and showcases art which shares their bold aesthetics, politics and humor. DEVO has already inspired legions with their politics, new wave getup of nuclear hazmat suits, retro-futuristic plastic pomps, and ziggurat-shaped energy dome flower pot hats and you can expect the same from their art.

Excluding a Garbage Pail Kids retrospective or an Airheads taste testing gala, this is about as pumped as I will probably get for an art show.

They're Back!!!

Pirates, or you might call them new age pirates, neo-pirates, or piraterrorists, live on. How? Why? I once heard oceans were the final frontier. They make up 70.8% of our planet’s surface and that’s one hell of a market for stealing shit. Pirates have made splashes in the news lately as attacks are on the rise, particularly along the navy-less Somalia coast. What do pirates look like these days? I know what you’re thinking, but let’s just say they have lost a little pizzazz. Are pirates as cool as they used to be?

Sunday in Brooklyn

Ladies and Gentleman, presenting the greatest couple in music history Sunday night May 4 at Pete's Candy Store. Music starts at 830pm with Boston native and groover Shoney Lamar, then, from Philly, dark and Doors-esque The Sweetheart Parade.

JSeger and Emily Easterly to follow, doing songs together, separate, and for Free.

Be there by 830 for good times.

What the hell am I doing here?

The artist currently known as Prince covered Radiohead's "Creep" at the Coachella Festival this past weekend. Watching the video, it struck me how much it sounded like a Prince song. Like a song it made sense for Prince to perform.

The more I thought about it, though, it dawned on me that "Creep" is probably one of those classic for-all-time songs now: a song that anyone can sing and get some great emotional mileage out of: A New American Standard. Like "Unchained Melody" or "Hallelujah" or "Yesterday" it's just an undeniably great song thats going to trigger a response, no matter who's performing it. I could see a middle school chorus recital opening with "Creep" as soon as 2012.

What defines a classic song? I don't know. I guess it can't be a song that's dependent on a particular style of performance, so that leaves out all of rap. It has to be a song that could be enjoyed by whoever hears it, no matter the age. It can't be a song that only makes sense when performed by one artist or group.

... I think "Satisfaction" may be the only classic Stones song. Well that and "Time Is On My Side"...

I'm wondering now what other future classics may have sprouted up in the 90s-00s unnoticed. "Hey Ya" - doubtful. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - only makes sense coming from Kurt Cobain.

All I can come up with is that R. Kelly song from Space Jam. I'm pretty sure both Mariah Carey and Oasis have at least one classic in their respective songbooks, but I'm not sure which it is yet.

So what songs from 1990-today will we be hearing our genetically-manipulated mulatto superbeing grandchildren mangling in 50 years?

Also, what song from the past 20 years is crying out the most for a genre-bending cover version?

Day Off

I took today off work, and damn, what a great idea that was! I highly recommend it to anyone reading this... Here's a couple of things I enjoyed reading last week.

Sneak peek at the new Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City, which is based on the greatest city in the world, New York. Gawker's snarky commenters made some good remarks to the post, but the one that really hits close to home, "I heard the real challenge in this version is a mini-game in which Niko has to try and find an affordable apartment in Liberty City. Talk about MURDER!!!!" Ryan, please ask Nintendo or XBox people for a free copy of this game.

Everyone know Ann Coulter is a total biz-nitch, but I did enjoy this column heading. Think she's a fan?

The Mosquito is a devise that uses electronic speaker that emits a high-pitched tone which only young people can hear. The Olds are using it to clear out unwanted teen hangouts. You may have heard of The Mosquito, but I actually performed a scientific experiment with it at work. During "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day," I had a mother and daughter sit near my computer speakers as I blasted a mp3 of the the high-pitched tone. I could barely hear it. The mother couldn't hear it at all. The daughter, about 10 years old, covered her ears and pleaded for me to stop... I eventually did.

RACY MILEY CYRUS PHOTO!

NAKED PHOTO CONTROVERSY!

NSFW! CHECK OUT THE PHOTO EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT!

CLICK HERE!

In my opinion, it's tastefully done, but she is YOUNG!

My Terry

Nick Cave on Fresh Air...awesome interview! I've never really listened to his stuff, except for the most recent one, Dig! Lazarus, Dig! (check out tracks "More News..." & "We Call Upon..."). Love his reaction and comments about his heroin use. Most often I hear people side step this question or try to detach themselves from how they felt, even play down the experience, but this is probably one of the more honest reactions to a question of that nature. Also, see the Proposition and The Assassination!!!

Branson's Back in Salty Balty

Bob Dylan, Iggy & the Stooges, Paramore, Chuck Berry (backed by the Silver Beats), the Black Keys and Wilco will join previously announced headliners Foo Fighters, Jack Johnson, Kanye West, Nine Inch Nails and Stone Temple Pilots for the third annual Virgin Mobile Festival at Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore on Aug. 9-10.
[source]

I'd like to ask Dick Branson for a ride in his space machine.

I Still Love You Victoria Knight-McDowell

As you may know, on March 4th Airborne Inc. agreed to pay $23 million to settle a class-action law suit claiming the chalky wonder tablet doesn't actually fight off germs or disease. "Airborne is basically an overpriced, run-of-the-mill vitamin pill that's been cleverly, but deceptively, marketed," says David Schardt of the the Center for Science in the Public Interest. Alright, first of all, that statement pisses me off. I am 98% sure that because of Airborne I have killed off at least 3 major and 6-8 minor colds over the past 2 years. I don't usually get behind products with such blind love and push them to everyone I know, (this was the last one) but I did with Airborne and I'm not ashamed of it. F the Center for Science in the Public Interest. They can eat Tylenol and drink Robitussin all winter long if they want to. I prefer Airborne. Second of all, I have to mention David Schardt, the man behind that quote--I don't care what you have to say David, your last name is a poopy fart.

Anyway, it is important to know that THIS HERE is the actual site where you can download and file claim on the bread you dished out for your tubes of Airborne. $23 million is a lot of money and if they are going to be giving it out we all might as well get in line. Personally, I plan to get my settlement check, run to Pathmark, and head right to the medicine section to stock up on as much Airborne as I can. You can never have too much.

If you are worried about proof of purchases with your claim, its all good. Unless you are trying to get a refund on more than 6 packs you don't need a receipt. Unfortunately, this is kind of where I am getting screwed. As part of a special advertised deal a few months back I mailed away several bar code proofs from my Airborne packages to receive a free tube in the mail. I even included a handwritten letter (I'm not joking either) that said something along the lines of "I am an advocate for your product...keep up the good work." I have still yet to receive my free Airborne and am now half a dozen bar codes out. I suppose with all their legal troubles I was just not a concern -- its understandable.

One last thing -- as stated on the settlement page, Airborne has its final court date on June 16, 2008 in Riverside, CA. Anyone want to drive out to CA that week and protest in favor of Airborne with me?

Mathematical Music: The Golden Ratio, The Amen Break and The Entire Fucking Universe

I am not a musician; I am not "into" music. I do not understand chords or keys or scales. I like clever lyrics and a good beat. I didn't know it until today, but one of the best beats in popular music actually has a name -- The Amen Break. Maybe all you bandidos and citizens of the Rhythm Nation have heard of it, but even if you haven't, you've definitely heard it. It's here: (here).

It's from a 1960's Wilson Brothers B-Side and artists as diverse as James Brown, NWA and NIN have all used it. [source] The crazy thing is that not only does it sound good, it fits a mathematical design principle called "the Golden ratio". Here are what the audio waves of The Amen Break look like:



If you haven't guessed already, the sound waves of the fucking Amen Break fit the Golden Ratio format perfectly. How do I know? Because this guy "used homemade Golden Ratio calipers to examine the peaks. Indeed, peaks pop up at Golden Ratio intervals." (I am Alchemy(TM)'ing Golden Ratio calipers right now).

This is where it starts getting Da Vinci Code-y. Other examples of the Golden Ratio include the Parthenon, the Pyramids, your fat face, Lee Harvey Oswald's assassination, nautilus shells, your paper and plastic, the distance from your shoulder to your elbow and your shoulder to your wrist, even the fucking fingers I am using to type this with have the Golden Ratio all over them.

Does this prove there is a God? That there is no God, just math? That aliens built the pyramids and probably ran Columbia records? I don't know. I'm not a math person.

Initial Public Offering

I've been thinking recently of taking this BLOG public, aka telling more people about it. I would assume, if I had to guess, that about 20 people have read this blog before (do you think I'm off?).

Clearly if the seven "contributors" to the site started telling more people about it, I think we'd have a broader audience which could be cool, but it might lose some of it's clubhouse feel, possibly lead to some semi-abusive anonymous comments, etc.

I see good sides and bad sides to going public, but most importantly I'm interested in what you think about the idea.

Not very Jewel-like

I'm officially ready to get rid of jewel cases (and think about all those bigger, dumber cases that some music stores stock jewel cases in). I don't think I really need to explain why jewel cases are one of the worst packaging ideas, besides the fact that it has everything to do with cost and nothing to do with aesthetic (isn't business fun).

If Jewel Cases were six-pack rings washing upon shore, people would be Freaking The Fuck Out (how many pictures would be on the internet, mocked, rings cut before recycling...)! MTV/Current/YouTube should run a small blip video along the lines of a Cool Politician seriously spouting recycle, environmental, and production stats in regards to Jewel Cases, with intertwining scenes of them washing on shore, people accidentally breaking them (the hinge, the inside circle holder thing, not too mention the cracking) and stepping on pieces, factory lines, computers calculating the design and specs, etc. Not an angry political rant, but a logical, Obama-esque...just kidding about that part...but an audible progression away from Big, Dumb, Plastic, Cheap and into something new and interesting. The Music industry deserves it and so does God and Mother Earth.

This American Life

My last post took a dump on iTunes and their dirty "protected files cannot be converted into other formats" deeds. Well, today I'm going to talk about one of my greatest iTunes related pleasures... Yes, folks, I'm talking about the This American Life podcast. This American Life is a radio show on NPR. I'd listened to it several time while journeying up and down the east coast in my driving days. But I don't drive anymore, or really listen to the radio like I used to (with the exception of Opie and Anthony). So now, thanks to iTunes, I can download a free weekly podcast of This American Life for some talk radio when I'm on the go.

There's a theme to each episode, and a variety of stories on that theme. It's mostly true stories of everyday people, though not always. There's lots more to the show, but, like we said, it's sort of hard to describe. [source]

And now it's a television show on Showtime, which I don't have, and I'm reminded of that everytime I see the subway posters for This American Life on Showtime. I hoped I could find full episodes of this quirky, odd show on YouTube, but I guess Showtime is smarter than HBO.

I don't know if you've ever heard the show, but you should check it out sometime (iTunes or otherwise).

Muxtape Madness

I updated my Muxtape. Check it out if you'd like. I got a little tripped up making this mix... Muxtape only accepts mp3s, but iTunes-purchased songs are in some fascist other format that wouldn't let me convert them to mp3s. So after I gave up on those tracks, and picked at least 4 new songs (the rest were easily converted), I finally figured out how to convert the iTunes-purchased songs into mp3s... I burnt them onto a cd, then ripped them onto my harddrive, then converted them into mp3s. That takes effort. Unfortunately most of the new music I buy is bought off iTunes; something I'm beginning to see as a mixed blessing.

Duuuuuude...

I dare you to try this... go full screen. Pump up that techno!

Bangers and Mash

When I see shit like this it reminds me of why Radiohead is so badass. Thome Yorke rockin out the drums to what sounds like it could've been a Stone Roses tune in Nigel Godrich's basement. I highly recommend this clip when you got a little bit of the spirit running through your system.

I Love the World

I love this commercial. It's kind of corny, but fills me with joy in the same way John Adams does.

All except for Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, he's a fucking prick.



This one is OK, too. Also for the Discovery Channel.

When You're Lost in the Rain

Bob Hates Andy - the comic strip

The Dangers of Being a News Reporter - daddy why?

I'm Sure We Can All Fit - cram 'em in

The Best Concert Of The Summer Is...Obama 08?

I'm going ahead and calling it now, the concert series of the summer is going to be Obama and his traveling roadshow. With Arcade Fire, Wilco, Dave Matthews, and Bright Eyes already having played shows for him in the primaries you can count on them to already be on the bill, traversing the country, exciting the kiddies everywhere. But the real Magic comes from the recent backing of Bruce Springsteen. As Bruce stated on his website on Monday "He speaks to the America I've envisioned in my music for the past 35 years...Over here on E Street, we're proud to support Obama for President." In 2004 he played 33 shows for John Kerry so I think it's safe to say you can expect a similar schedule this time around. He's also got the endorsements of Nas, Ted Leo, Common, Jay Z and REM he could call on to help. Only thing he needs now is U2 (you can't save the world without Bono, ask American Idol and Al Gore) and of course 'The Coug'. I think we're looking at a tour for the ages here folks!

Ryan Adams, you silly billy

This is the blog belonging to no other than Ryan Adams. Talk about oversharey! But honestly that's what makes it good.

I've really gotten into Ryan Adams these last few years, it started with Jacksonville City Nights in Richmond, VA. Great album. Funny, when I was supposed to like him during the early 00's, I thought he sounded weak. Now I keep Jacksonville City Nights, Easy Tiger, and Follow the Lights in heavy rotation.

Going back to his blog, I thought this was interesting... While attempting to dispel multiple rumors he writes:

3. I never KICKED OUT anyone from a concert. The Ryman Auditorium (a shit hole in Nashville) has the balls to charge you for security when you play there but if some college kid, and I mean SOUTHERN college kid decides to get wasted and scream through 7 songs of a solo acoustic performance, they could give a fuck. I went into the audience and handed him what I thought the ticket price was (40 bucks) and asked him to leave. I said “you have successfully ruined this concert so here is your money, now will you go home now so I can at least try and give the rest of this audience what they paid for. It did not work as the woman who runs that shit-hole re-seated him and BELIEVE IT OR NOT people CHEERED when he was ushered to a new seat. As most of that concert were people telling him to “shut up” There was NO BAND just myself, and I was joined by Gillian Welch and David Rawlings (heroic figures to me) to sing a few tunes and still the man screamed over it. In fact, “Summer of 69” was not shouted when I went to ask him to leave. It was in fact something else. He was so drunk, so very very drunk he did not even know he was there.
The writer who wrote it up the next morning submitted it to AP (the Associated Press) in hopes it would bring him a few extra dollars and some exposure. I have suffered since.
I seriously could give six shits about Bryan Adams or that song. In my opinion he is not a serious artist. His songs have ” implied target market audience” written all over them and in fact he is quite embarrassing in general. Also a piss poor photographer. I guess it is kind of amazing he got to stand next to Tina Turner though. She is rather heroic and an obvious artist. In every sense. Also she was kick ass in Mad Max BeyondfThunderdome and I wish I could coddle her in her chain mail in Barter-Town but that place does not exist.

Yeah. The truth will set you free, my friend. Of course he lives in New York.

Muxtape Madness

I first heard of this website, Muxtape.com, on Gawker. According to Muxtape's website:

Muxtape is a service for creating mixtapes... Muxtape is alive.

You can put up to 12 songs on your own personalized "Muxtape" site, just don't repeat the same artist from the same album. I found myself listening to a lot of random music at work. It's a pretty bitchin' idea, so I made my own Muxtape (not without effort, I had to convert all the songs I uploaded to .mp3s since that's the only format the site accepts). You can find it at www.mattical.muxtape.com (don't forget to turn UP your speakers). Enjoy! If you make a mix, I'll listen to it while I'm at work. Promise.

Quickly, before I start my taxes...

If the shovelglove hasn't been having the desired effect, you might want to try this.

[photo source]

The marathon is easy. There are no lions.

I am liberally copying / pasting / plagiarizing /rearranging all of this post from this original article in the UK's Guardian newspaper.

This is the true story of Six Maasai warriors picked to run the London Marathon to raise money for a well in their village. Isaya, 24, is their chief. They'll work together and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.

Isaya's diary:

Friday April 4
The plane was so big and frightening, and I closed my eyes. My family didn't want me to come to England because they never saw a plane before.

Our elders told us we can do the marathon because we have been running all over, killing a lion and herding cattle. I sometimes run for two or three days with my cattle, and I have to protect them from lions.

Saturday April 5
I miss meat and blood very much. Not vegetables because they are food for a woman. There is milk here but blood is better because it gives energy. English tea with sugar is good and we tried Coco Pops, but the nicest food is croissants.

We heard about showers before, in a briefing about the country. It said be careful - when the shower is hot it is really hot, and when cold, really cold. This is true.

Tuesday April 8
The Houses of Parliament are the best buildings in London. They use very strong materials. We hoped to see the Queen in London very much, but she is never there.


Thursday April 10
We rode a real horse for the first time too. It is amazing that people can talk to them, tell them where to go and they do it.

Saturday April 12
I am excited to get the marathon done and get clean water to save lives. We have a dam that we share with wild animals so every morning the children go to get water, it's dangerous for them. Some have lost their lives. Next week we will drill and get clean water for the top life. Then I would like to study community development in America so I can be a great chief to my people.



It's like a real life Jungle 2 Jungle, only no Tim Allen!

the attempted assassination of the coward gerald ford

gerald ford, the man who wussed out by withdrawing from vietnam* and by pardoning nixon, (also inherited his chief of staff, rumsfeld and cheney) faced two assassination attempts while president. the first attempt (proved later to be a lousy one) was by a female member of the manson family. seventeen days later, sara jane moore shot at the president and would have killed him if not for the heroics of a man (pictured far left grabbing gun) named oliver sipple.

*just kidding

the hardest working man in show business

the day after dr. martin luther king, jr. was shot, james brown played a show in boston...

Don't Make Me a Target

Last night Emily and I went to Upper West side to see Spoon. I've got Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga on wax and bought the tickets for the show, and was pretty eager to see a good-live-newer-band. It was fun. They are interesting, with class and style, no pretension (except the two encores) and good energy/cool vibe. They played all the songs I wanted to hear, plus some intriguing ones (a cool "Rungle Through the Jungle"-ish tune that ended up being a Paul Simon cover). There's a link below to a npr interview/performance. I haven't listened to the show, but the interview is cool.

The first track of Ga is "Don't Make Me A Target" which could easily be interpreted as a citizens request to politicians...by all means, make yourself one if you please, but not me!

Interview/Performance

"The Harmonica is the world's best-selling instrument. You're welcome."

I'm sure some of this may be familiar to some of you, but here was a fun stat-gathering read on Theme Time Radio, particularly One-Liners, Deep Thoughts, and yes, more Bad Jokes. Message to J, i'll accept more episodes . . . at any time.

r.i.p. charlton heston

don't judge an album by its cover

need some ideas for your next album cover?

Updates on the Warpath

Does Chris need to set up an Etsy shop?

World Cafe Interview and Performance

Big Profits in Back Yard Frog Raising

I first came across this article a few months back: long before anyone was putting anything in plain site. Given the current economy, I thought it might come in handy. If anyone's got the space for a few 20' x 20' ponds and needs an extra pair of quick hands, let me know.

Highlights:

A back yard is large enough to start the thriving business of frog raising. How to build up a big income with a very small investment is told in the following article. The white meat, with a taste similar to a tender, juicy squab, is greatly in demand.

...

When ready for marketing, the frogs are caught at night by blinding them with a search light. When the catcher gets a frog he puts it into a burlap sack with others. They are then put into small pens awaiting the dresser who grabs them by their rear legs and pierces the head with a nail by a downward stroke of the hand. The entrails are removed and the frog is ready for shipment in barrels of cracked ice

[full Modern Mechanix article from May 1934]

Don't Go Takin' My Heart

This story is like something out of Edgar Allen Poe. Or CSI: Miami.

Suicide claims two men who shared one heart
By RENEE DUDLEY
Published Saturday, April 5, 2008

After Terry Cottle killed himself more than 12 years ago, his heart beat on in former Hilton Head Island resident Sonny Graham.

Grateful for the transplant that saved his life, Graham wrote to thank the Cottle family. Through that correspondence, he met Cheryl Cottle, his donor's widow. Then the unexpected happened -- they fell in love and married.

Earlier this week, the unexpected happened again, when Graham's life ended the same way Terry Cottle's did.

On Tuesday, Graham took his own life at his home in Vidalia, Ga. He was 69. ...

Click the link for the rest of the story and for a picture of the twice-widowed wife. She's suprisingly young-looking for a gal hitched to a 69 year old.

Was foul play involved? Or does Cheryl Cottle just chew her dinner so loudly that two separate dudes couldn't stand to live in a world with her in it? Or maybe it was some sort of cursed voodoo witch heart? Or maybe Terry Cottle didn't like the idea of this guy mackin' on his lady and used some sort of psychic afterlife connection to drive Graham to self-extinguish.

Anyone Else Ready for A Cigarette?

I've never been interested in Mike Wallace, but there's a couple of interesting names on this list of interviews that have been posted for free.

We Didn't Start the Fire

"The plan was for the torchbearers to be encircled by several hundred officers, some in riot police vehicles and on motorcycles, others on rollerblades and on foot. Closest to the torchbearer would be the Chinese torch escorts, with Paris police on rollerblades moving around them. French firefighters in jogging shoes would encircle the rollerbladers, while motorcycle police would form the outer layer of security."

Had the torch been extinguished by protest during previous Olympic ceremonies?

Former Richmonders Drop It Like It's Hot

They put up the track this week:

http://rvanews.com/eighttrack/

(notice the jellies...probably around the same time The Dude was wearing 'em)

Weekend Radical Links

Isn't it nice that the weekend is here? Sit back and relax... if you can.

-here The King of America (gets really good at 4:25 into it)

-here Most Liberal Sites in America.

-here How to write a song.

-here Bear Stearns deal goes under the microscope.

-here Tom Cruise Purple.

-here 37.

Making It Easy for My Stalker

Past Matters

There is a great feature (and equally great artwork) in this week's paper for anyone interested in roots music, the traditional strategies of the recording industry, and/or the various quirks of Asheville's colorful history. For one long week in the summer of 1925, Okeh Records came to Asheville to seek new talent and explore the idea of field recording (as opposed to draggin' these goofballs all the way to big, bad New York City). Considered a failed promise due to insufficient technology, the sessions were mostly abandoned. Two years later, the same team ventured to Bristol, VA to make stars of Jimmy Rodgers and the Carter Family. It was here that "country music" claimed its more popular birth. Linked here.

Delicious, refreshing, meaty

http://dinnerinabottle.com/ is my pick for today's best foolishness.