Friday, March 12, 2010

I Just Wasted 9 Minutes of My Life Watching This Crap, Care to Repeat My Mistake?



Other than seeing Gaga's pixalated vage in the tranny prison this is total drivel. I mean I get it that she's trying to be the new Madonna and be all edgy and all, but this is just shit. Madonna had, um, what's that word I'm looking for...Oh yeah, Talent, and that other word....Oh yeah that's right, Good Songs. Gaga is a bunch of crappy beats with her going "eh eh eh oh oh oh blah blah blah" like some sort of robot while putting the most ridiculous outfits on that have no sense of anything to them. And as a Tarantino fan I'm offended by the use of the Pussy Wagon (small detail I know), and as a music video fan I'm offended by the whole damn thing. Uhh this broad is terrible terrible terrible and I fear that she's only going to further propel pop radio deeper into the doldrums. And the lyrics are some of the most juvenile to have ever been played on the radio. "I have no service, I'm in the club you see. Wha wha what did you say? Your breaking up on me. Sorry I cant hear you I'm kinda busy".

Here let me help Gaga and write her next song for her...let's call it...pixalated vage...first a beat *boom chica be bop boo ping pang boom chica be bop boo ping pang pang pang* Okay now for the lyrics...
"Pixa pixa pixalated vage, I've got a pixa pixa pixa pixa pixalated vage
Cause my songs are shitty so in them tabloid mags
They say I got a dick so I'm showing them my pixa lated vage

It's 4 4 4 4 oclock in the afternoon
and I'm si si sitting here in my room
with my ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca camera out
and I'm a show all you suckers what it's all about

I got pixels running up and down my vage
Cause showing my pussy just aint that rad
But if I put squares all over my snatch
then all trendy people will know just where it's at

Pixa pixa pixalated vage, I've got a pixa pixa pixa pixa pixalated vage
Cause my songs are shitty so in them tabloid mags
They say I got a dick so I'm showing them my pixa lated vage"

Wow, that's a hit fucking tune right there...let me get some cyborgs playing parcheesi in the video, and we'll put a floppy hat on Gaga that has Oscar the grouch on top of it and a tutu on her...yeah that's edgy. And we'll have her driving a tractor in the video tilling the land...you know, to represent her coming over the hardships and all...I think we're on to something here. Let me get 13 Puerto Ricans and a donkey to fill in as extras in the video and we've got a smash hit. Uhhhh, somebody fucking shoot me.

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