Rolling Stones Gather No Moss

..."On a personal note," he started to say, "I moved into a new apartment last weekend." Baxter was excited to have finally caught the attention of the former mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Since he read the internets religiously, he knew she wasn't in Alaska anymore! She'd hit The Big Time. "That's right, I packed up everything I own: computer, guitars, clothes, records, and stereo. Goodbye Manhattan digs... a 'next chapter,' across the river in... in Brooklyn...."

Frothing at the mouth, she looked puzzled, shaking her head while clutching the American flag tighter. Baxter continued, somewhat nervous of her twitching, but eager to make his point. "I have about a hundred thoughts on the matter, but what do I know what I'm talking about?" Baxter instantaneously realized the old shit's changed. Sometimes it takes takes This American Life... to ... A tear intruded due to his inherent emo nature. He knew he was going to fit in perfectly.

"Don't be such a pussy!," she grunted. Pointing her finger and looking him straight in the eye, she screamed...

"I don't give a fuck what you're talking about. I've never been to New York City!"

Turn to the camera and show them who's boss... what's the worst that can happen?


Jesus wept.

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