The Fox News Fix For The Economy

So in case you all haven't been getting your proper daily dosage of Fox news I'm here to fill you all in on their "fix" for our economy. This is thorough research I've conducted from countless hours of watching experts such as Hannity, Cavuto, O'Reilly, and various Republican congressman on the Fox Network. It's a set of core conservative principles of how to fix the mess that Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank and the "liberals in Washington" have put us in. So I present to you all the 5 steps of how to get America back to the greatness it was in the 80's when America was a "shining city upon a hill".

1. Case you've forgotten already, Barack Obama is a socialist. Therefore to quote Mr. Hannity "Capitalism as we know it is dead". That means we're already behind the 8ball, and probably fucked to start with. *By the way, Who is Barack Obama? And isn't it curious that he still hasn't answered that question? At least my Memaw is coming around on him. At first she hated him and wanted him dead, but just today she told me "I feel sorry for The Nigger, he's gotta lota shit on his plate*

2. Spending money on infrastructure such as rebuilding bridges and roads and crumbling schools is a waste of money. Proff of this is the fact that FDR's New Deal had nothing to do with getting us out of the Great Depression. What really got us out was war. *Hmm,,,Iran looks pretty appealing, maybe we can stoke up a war with them to end the recession*

3. Gas is cheap again so therefore we can't afford to invest in alternative energy. But just to make sure gas doesn't go back up we need to "drill here and drill now". *by the way, if you don't believe in drilling here and drilling now then go check out this nifty Arron Tippin tune called, wait for it, Drill Here Drill Now, it's mighty persuasive*

4. TAX CUTS!!! Unless of course you're lower middle class to poor, because in that case it's not a tax cut, it's just welfare and wealth redistribution. *At this point refer back to point #1*

5. WWRD, What Would Reagan Do. Know matter what the problem just think to yourself, "hmm, what would Reagan do" and then do that. *By the way, it's a little know fact but every time you mention his name an angel gets its wings*

There you go, your 5 bullet points on how to fix the economy. Don't invest in America unless it's in an oil derek, cut taxes for corporations and the rich, remember that Obama is a socialist, and most importantly mention Ronald Reagan as much as you can.